Sweet Sacrifice
by Lola-2011
Summary: Robert and Holly Scorpio struggle with alcoholism, drug addiction and the pressures of a political career. AR
1. Chapter 1

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 1

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

The Nurse's Ball 2006

Holly Sutton Scorpio was sipping on her third glass of champagne as she and the Police Commissioner's wife, Felicia Jones, chatted with Dr. Monica Quartermaine about the upcoming charity fundraiser to benefit the new children's wing at General Hospital. Her days, hell her life, consisted of one charity function after another. It was one big party. One that served many, many cocktails with the always available option of the open bar in this distant incase someone felt the need for something stronger than wine and champagne. And Holly always did.

As she engaged in conversation her eyes immediately slid over to the bar where she spotted her husband ordering a drink. "Excuse me." she said to Felicia and Monica as she headed in Robert's direction. "Darling, it's almost time for your speech." she said, smiling. "I don't think now's the time for another drink."

Robert smiled as he turned to face his beautiful wife, the mother of his children, the light of his life or so she was, at least she use to be. The bartender sat down the scotch in front of him. "Thank you." he replied, grasping the drink in his hand and then turning his attention toward Holly. "Counting, luv?"

"Of course not." she replied. "It's just that I know how hard you've worked on your speech that's all."

He released the drink from his grasp. "You're right." he agreed. "I do have a very important speech to give. I'll have another drink after." he said sliding his glass toward her. "Here, knock yourself out." he told her. "You haven't met you quota for the day just yet, but then again it's still early." Robert placed a kiss on her cheek and then walked away from the bar.

Holly quickly downed the drink in front of her. He could be such a condescending bastard at times. Her husband, the father of her children, the so called light of her life. The Mayor of Port Charles. The man who was always so busy making sure that everything in town was exactly the way it was suppose to be, the way he wanted it. So much so that his own wife got pushed to the backburner. Except when he was whoring her out to do social event after social event all in the name of politics.

Being a politician's wife was a thankless, mind numbing, borderline painful job. Brunches and lunches and teas and cocktails and dinner parties were driving her to the brink of insanity. Having her every move watched and recorded and then later dissected by every news source in Port Charles had her walking over hot coals with a bright, cheerful smile plastered across her face. Now she knew why Elizabeth Taylor got so fat and depressed when she was married to Senator John Warner.

Robert gave his speech to the citizens of Port Charles who at the end of it gave him a four minute and nineteen second long standing ovation. He was such a commendable, honorable, well respected man. Holly set down her sixth glass of champagne when everyone rose to their feet to applaud him, smiling in what seemed like in awe of her husband as he turned and winked in her direction.

After it was all over Robert, Holly, Celia and Grant all climbed into the stretch limo, all of them a little intoxicated, to begin their journey home. It was two am and their energy was quickly draining.

"It was such a wonderful speech, Robert." Celia told him. "And I completely agree with everything you said. Port Charles has been free of crime the past twenty years we've lived here and raised our families and it should stay that away."

"And if drastic measures have to be taken then so be it." Grant chimed in. "The most important thing is the safety of the people in our community."

As they went on discussing politics Holly reached for the open bottle of wine they had opened on the way to the night's event. She would be so glad when the night was over. It had been one of the longest events in her entire social existence. She needed a drink stronger than wine. She needed peace and quite. She needed a sedative and two days sleep.

The limo dropped the Putnam's off at their home and then drove directly to the Scorpio's. The entire ride was silent and had been ever since they gave their warm goodbyes to their friends. When they finally arrived home Robert headed straight for the bedroom whilst Holly made a pit stop at the bar, pouring herself a highball of gin before proceeding to follow Robert up the stairs and into the bedroom.

He was already out of his tux and into his pyjama bottoms when she came, slightly stumbling, into the bedroom. She sat the glass down on the dresser and began rummaging through the top drawer until she found the nightie she was looking for.

"Robert?" she said. "Come unzip me."

He was already in bed underneath the blankets. "Can't you unzip yourself?" he asked. "I don't want to get back up, luv."

"Robert, get up!" she practically demanded. "Unless you want me to sleep in this eight thousand dollar gown and ruin it."

"Fine." he mumbled as he threw back the blanket and got up out of his warm bed, stalking over to where she was.

"I knew that would get you up." she replied.

Holly drew in a sharp, deep breath at the feel of his hands against her bare back. She leaned into his warm touch wanting nothing more than to feel his body against hers, loving her, holding her. She turned around to face him, the bodice of her chocolate, strapless dress dropping down around her waist. Leaning up she captured his lips in a soft, delicate kiss one that seemed to linger on for several long moments. She reached for his hand which was resting on her shoulder and guided it down until his hand covered her bare breast.

Robert broke the kiss, moving his hands away from her. "Not tonight, Holly." he sighed as he reached for the highball of gin she has set on the dresser. "I'm too tired." He consumed half of the drink in one long gulp and then sat it back down on the dresser. "Night." he mumbled as he headed back to bed leaving his wife standing in front of the dresser all alone.

Holly glanced in the dresser mirror as she removed her dress. At forty three she was still attractive, she had aged well and with grace, yet she couldn't seem to get her husband to touch her half the time. She glanced back over at Robert who appeared to be sleeping.

"Robert?" she called out as she made her way across the room and toward the bed. "Robert?"

"What is it, luv?" he asked never opening his eyes.

"I want to make love." she told him.

"Oh, Holly, I'm so tired." he said as he turned over in the bed. "In the morning."

She stood there looking at him for several long seconds. "Forget it." she mumbled as she headed for the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. "I'll do it myself."

How did it ever come to this?

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 2

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

Holly slammed the bathroom door behind her. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. Robert was so preoccupied with absolutely everything that didn't involve her. And she was the one running about planning and hosting functions and sitting on the board of every organization in Port Charles. And when she wasn't doing that she was standing to her husbands right as he gave speeches on family and integrity. They were showcased to be the most perfect couple in the entire universe all the while their marriage had crashed down around them leaving them in the midst of smoldering ruins.

The chocolate colored evening gown pooled around Holly's ankles. She stepped out of it and left it laying in the middle of the floor. Eight thousand dollars was pocket change to Robert now that he was Mayor of Port Charles. And like he even really gave a damn anyway. He never looked at her long enough to see what she looked like anymore much less what she had on.

After running a hot bubble bath Holly grabbed the bottle of vodka out from underneath the sink and her favorite toy out of the vanity drawer and headed over to the tub. It was her intention to wash away all of the anger and the hurt and the frustration even if it was just for a little while. It was a welcomed escape, especially at two am.

She relaxed against the back of the porcelain tub, the hot water soothing her. The cap off the vodka bottle hit the marble floor, bouncing a few times before rolling to the opposite side of the room. Not that it mattered the bottle wouldn't even need a cap by the time she got out of the tub anyway. It would be empty. The burn of the alcohol as it slid smoothly down her throat, felt like heaven. Another welcomed escape

She hit the on switch on her little toy and lowered it into the bath water. She closed her eyes as she focused solely on the task at hand. Only this time she didn't view it as an escape, she welcomed it as a rather pleasureful distraction, the only pleasure she ever seemed to receive anymore. She was too often left in a cold bed because Robert was too busy to come home until the early morning hours or when he did come home he was far to tired, falling asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Thirty seconds into her distraction, Holly's mind began to travel to other things. Unpleasant things. Things she didn't want to think about. She tried to force herself to concentrate on what she was doing but she couldn't. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and the every last thing she wanted to do was cry. Especially with Robert close enough that he could actually hear her if he was awake, which she highly doubted. The toy hit the marble floor with a thud. And Holly was in tears. So much for willing herself not to cry.

They were happy once. So happy. Weren't they? She wasn't sure anymore if that's the way it really was, the earlier years of their marriage, or if that was just the way she chose to remember it. Because from where they were now being happy didn't seem like a word she would ever use to describe them. Their marriage was beyond on the rocks, it was so far away from any water that she was more than sure that there would never be smooth sailing ever again. Especially now with their children grown.

Holly began to rack her brain for a happy memory and the only ones she could seem to find did, in fact, included their children. Perhaps the only reason they were together. Perhaps the only reason they had stayed together was for the children and now that they were both away from home they didn't have to be together anymore. She sure as hell wasn't happy like this. And she knew he wasn't either, how could he be?

Some days the only thing that kept her sane was her children, knowing that she and Robert had produced two really good things, their sons, throughout their fucked up rise and fall of what some people viewed as the perfect marriage. If they only knew. And that's what politics was creating the grand illusion that everything was storybook perfect when in reality everything laid in complete devastation.

Hot tears stung her cheeks as they streamed down her face uncontrollably. It wasn't suppose to be like this. This was never what she wanted. She wanted a happy and devoted, loving husband not a stressed out, overworked politician. Over the past few months she kept coming back to one conclusion on how to put a stop to it all. She wanted out. It was the only way.

Holly had tried to figure the one thing that had went wrong in their marriage, at least where everything started to fall apart, but she always ended up with nothing. There was nothing to pinpoint. There wasn't one defining moment where everything went wrong. There was a series of things that added up over the years that had led them to this place in their marriage, a place she sure as hell didn't want to be in.

Robert and Holly had shared a lot of incredible things together. The birth of their firstborn, Andrew, just sixteen months after they married. And a little brother, William, following just thirteen months later. Robert had been Police Commissioner for eighteen years. And then in 2001 he was elected as Mayor of Port Charles, making Holly the 'first lady'.

Both Robert and Holly were ready for a change when he was elected mayor and they thought that they were going to get to live a more relaxed, hassle free live from when he was police commissioner. It couldn't have been farther from the truth. Things were more complicated than they had ever been in the past, leaving Robert exhausted and stressed out. And Holly frustrated.

The strain of the being under the microscope, of living that picture perfect life was taking its toll. Perhaps the worst thing about their troubled marriage was pretending to be happy and content in the public eye. Knowing that when they walked through the front door of their home together that the facades fell away and that they were left with they themselves had created: misery.

Once Holly finally pulled herself together she exited the tub and slipped on her robe. She walked over to the vanity the vodka bottle in her hand, almost empty, and opened the medicine cabinet. She searched the array of medications before her until she found the Valium. She washed down two pills with the remaining vodka and then placed the bottle back under the sink and then headed to back to the bedroom.

Holly dropped her robe and slipped on her nightie that she left laying on the dresser and headed to bed, climbing in next to Robert. Instinctively, in his sleep, he wrapped his arm securely around her waist murmuring an 'I love you' into the darkened room. Unfortunately Holly wasn't awake to hear it, she had passed out the moment she laid down.

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 3

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

_One day I'm gonna forget your name  
and one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain_

Robert awoke the next morning around nine. Holly was mere inches away from him sleeping, what appeared to be, peacefully, soundly and angelically, but he knew that it wasn't the case at all. She had probably washed down a handful of sedatives with her nightcap and would remain knocked out for hours to come. What a mess she had become.

After a quick breakfast Robert decided to head to his office. At least he could get a little work done before Holly became lucid and started yelling at him about work schedule. He figured he could be at the office and back before she even made it into the shower. Not having to hear her bitch was a godsend, he was almost relieved that she had seemed to put herself into another drug induced coma.

Having to deal with Holly, as of late, was torture in itself. She was moody and irrational and constantly nagging and complaining about every little single thing he did. And when she didn't have a drink in her hand, which was a rare feat, she was popping pills, one after another for some ache or pain either real or imagined. Their medicine cabinet looked like a pharmacy. Every painkiller, sedative and antidepressant on the market was neatly lined up, in order of potency of course.

Most of the time she was either too drunk or too high to even carry on a civil conversation with him much less anything else. She did manage, somehow miraculously, to pull herself together the moment they stepped out of the house. She was charming and eloquent and supportive of everything single thing he did and said. She was, in essence, the perfect wife. But as soon as they stepped through the front door she fell apart revealing exactly what she had become. A lush.

The only problem was that he submerged himself so much in his work that he couldn't see how truly miserable Holly had really become. Instead he chalked it up to boredom and perhaps the pressure of the public scrutiny that caused her addictions without realizing that he often, inadvertently, enabled them. What was a charity function without a glass of champagne? Or meeting for cocktails without actually having a cocktail?

It was true Holly created her own addictions and her own dependency, but Robert also fed into them. Not that he didn't have any himself. He certainly consumed far more than enough alcohol in any given day. But the difference between himself and his lovely wife is that he knew when to stop, at least he thought he did, and his tolerance level was much, much higher than hers could ever be.

It was a little after eleven and Robert was pouring his second glass of scotch, swirling it around in the glass before downing it in one gulp. He tried as hard as he could to push all of his marital problems to the back of his mind but they kept swimming forward consuming his every thought causing him to reach for the bottle of scotch and refill his glass to try and push them back out. Something to numb both the pain and soothe the obvious failure.

He truly didn't know how much more he could take. If there was only someway he could get out of the entire mess without causing a huge scandal he jump at the opportunity. He wanted nothing more than to be free of the shackles from his unholy union with the woman whom he once thought was heavensent. Somehow his angel had lost her halo and he had become too enthralled in his own life to help her look for it.

Sometimes he often had problems recalling any happy moments in their lives that didn't revolve around Andrew and William. Their sons were the light of their lives, without them he knew that his marriage to Holly would have ended long ago. Now that the children were grown there was really nothing keeping them together but pride and perhaps appearance.

Career wise it wasn't a good idea for Robert to start any kind of separation from his wife, temporary or otherwise. With his term as Mayor ending soon he was left with the decision of campaigning for a higher position and he couldn't do that with divorce proceeding hanging over his head. Entertaining himself with the thought of being free was nothing more than a daydream. It could never be a reality. Not in his choice of a career. He was trapped and that there was no way out without destroying his chance for advancement in the field of politics. He would simply have to suffer through.

Robert finished off his last drink, his fourth, and then headed back to the house. He was sure that Holly would be up by then and if not then he would simply work from home until she came downstairs complaining about something. He wished that he could remember when she became a nagging bitch just as much as she wished she could remember when he became a deaf ass.

He wanted to be anywhere than at home. He could play a round of golf at the Country Club but then Holly wouldn't just tag along and insist that he play tennis with the Putnam's. After all playing a doubles match is what caused the injury to her rotator cuff which started her on the painkillers to begin with. First it was just Percodon but now somehow Vicodin and OxyContin got added to the mix and now there were so many he couldn't even remember all of their names. And those were just the painkillers.

Robert slammed the door shut on his SUV and made his way in the back door and into the kitchen. Thankfully he found no signs of Holly being up and about. He had dodged a major, major bullet so far. He made his way down the hallway and to the back stairs, slowly climbing them to make his way to his wife. He figured the least he could do was to check her pulse and make sure she was still breathing. Her death would be an ever bigger scandal than divorce.

He opened the bedroom and made his way over to the bed only to find it empty and unmade. He didn't hear the shower running so he peered into the bathroom in hopes that she was taking a bath, but no such luck. Her car was in the garage, she had to be in the house somewhere he just wasn't bothered about looking. He had other, more important things to attend to.

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

Sweet Surrender

Chapter: 4

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: R

_Fear is only in our minds,  
Taking over all the time.  
Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time._

A few hours later Holly awoke to a cold, empty bed. Her head was spinning. She glanced over at the alarm clock finding that it was only three minutes before eleven. Apparently she hadn't taken enough sedatives, two just wasn't doing the trick anymore. Not being able to get back to sleep she was left with no choice than to get up.

Twenty minutes later she was in the pool house searching through the dresser drawers trying to find the top to her favorite purple bikini and was having absolutely no luck. She knew that it had to be in there she had just wore it two days before. She sat down her highball of gin on the top of the dresser and began a more thorough search. Finally she found it tucked under several pairs of Robert's swimming trunks.

"Blaine?" she called out, attempting to get the pool boy's attention. "Can you come do me a favor?"

"Yes, Mrs. Scorpio?" he asked as he appeared in the doorway. He stopped abruptly. Holly was standing in bikini bottoms with the top of her bathing suit untied from the back, the free flowing material barely covering her engorged breasts. His eyes traveled over her body wantonly. "I'm sorry." he apologized when he finally found his voice. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's quite alright." she said, halting him. "I wanted you to tie the back of my bathing suit."

"Oh." he sighed as he nervously made his way over to her. His hands shook slightly as he reached for the strings on her bathing suit, taking what felt like forever to tie them together, his hands brushing up against her bare back. Her skin was so soft and silky and Blaine couldn't help but let his hands linger there even after he tied her bathing suit, besides it was almost if she wanted him to touch her.

Blaine was all of eighteen. Having just graduated from Port Charles High School in June he was working throughout the summer to help pay for his college tuition. He was tall and blonde and well built. He had been on the football team as a running back . A charmer and a flirt. He had piercing blue eyes and a big bright smile. He kind of reminded her of Robert in a way.

His warm, large hands lightly caressed her soft skin working his way from her back up to her shoulders. Holly found herself leaning into his touch. Her breath caught in her throat as he softly touched his lips to her bare shoulder. Even though she was expecting it, she was awaiting it, she had wanted it, she was still caught off guard by it.

After a few steady breaths and a few more gentle caresses she relaxed under his rather skilled touch. And by the time his warm lips met the delicate flesh of her neck she was softly moaning out. Her blood ran hot. She was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be touched by a man. And now she had come to the point where it didn't matter who it was, she just wanted to be touched.

Holly instinctively turned around to face him and the very moment she did Blaine took control, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth and practically down her throat. He found her mouth sweet and warm and gin flavored as his tongue stroked furiously against hers. Her hands immediately went to his face as she tried to gain some sort of control of the kiss, guiding him to slow down a little and take his time. Blaine caught on rather quickly, kissing her back passionately but not at lightening speed as before.

His hands covered her breasts, squeezing her through the thin material before snaking his hand around to untie the bathing suit that he tied just a few minutes before. The purple bikini top dropped to the floor as his hands finally covered the bare breasts he had longed to touch ever since he started working for the Scorpio's.

It was wrong. And she knew it was wrong. She just simply didn't give a damn anymore. Her life was a complete and utter mess and it couldn't get any worse than it already was. At least this way she was getting a little pleasure out of it. Why the fuck should she care if she was seducing the teenage hired help in the pool house? Robert wouldn't touch her. He didn't give a damn about anything she did that didn't involve his reputation.

Blaine was all over her. He was, after all, a horny teenaged boy. And she was a walking, talking, breathing, wet dream. Within moments she was on her back on the chaise longue and he was on top of her, his mouth hot against her flushed skin. It was what she wanted. What she needed. What she convinced herself she had to have.

Her hand covered his, which was kneading her breast, forcing his touch to become harder. His opposite hand pulled her silky smooth leg around his waist, pushing himself up against her and then rotating his hips against hers. He was rock hard against her and she loved it. It was something that she had missed, something she wanted to feel. And she was empowered by the fact that she still had what it took to turn a man on.

"Mrs. Scorpio?" Blaine said weakly as he pulled his mouth away from hers. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Shut up!" she demanded. "Just touch me."

Holly didn't really give a damn what he wanted. This was about her. It was sad that it had come down to that point. That she no longer cared about other people's feelings as long as she was getting exactly what she wanted. And in that moment in time she wanted to be sexually sated. And the pool boy was about to become her conquest.

Blaine did exactly as he was instructed to do. And Holly let her appreciation be known. She pulled his shirt from his toned body and discarded it somewhere on the floor. Her hand moved down between their heated bodies. She moaned softly. He emitted deep groan.

And a booming voice interrupted it all.

"What the fuck?!" Robert demanded loudly.

Holly and Blaine both froze. Getting caught never occurred to either one of them.

"What the hell is going on here, Holly?" Robert yelled.

Blaine quickly jumped up off the chaise. "Mr. Scorpio." he said nervously. "I can explain."

"I'm sure you can." Robert scoffed as he grabbed a near by towel and flung it at his wife. "Cover up!" he demanded. "And you, get the hell off my property before I kill you."

"Robert!" Holly admonished as if she actually had some right to scorn his behavior. He had caught her half naked and underneath the pool boy.

"Not now, Holly."

Blaine grabbed his shirt up off the floor. "I'm so sorry..."

"Out!" he bellowed. "And you better not breathe one word of this to anyone!"

Blaine got out of the pool house as quickly as he possibly could and off of the Scorpio's property just as he was told to do.

Back inside the pool house Mr. and Mrs. Scorpio were left alone. Which didn't seem like a very safe situation. Holly sat up on the chaise, wrapping the towel tightly around her body. Robert stood fuming in front of her. She opened her mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by her husband.

"Don't tell me." he said. "It wasn't what it looked like."

Holly looked at him for several long moments. "It was exactly what it looked like." she replied, calmly. "And had you came in ten minutes later you wouldn't have seen anything at all."

"How long?!" he asked trying to keep a handle on his emotions.

"How long, what?" she snapped back.

"How long have you been sleeping with Blaine?!" he demanded to know and when she didn't answer quickly enough he yelled again. "How long, Holly?!"

She had wanted to hurt him. She wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt her every time he pushed her away, every time he had refused to touch her or kiss her or make love to her. She wanted him to suffer and she was now presented with the perfect opportunity to do so. But she couldn't quite bring herself to say the words.

"Why do you think I hired him?" she asked standing up.

"You're old enough to be his mother."

Holly felt another painful blow to her vanity and this time it was delivered, unmistakably, by her husband. "He didn't seem to mind." she finally said. "In fact I think he was rather enjoying it."

"How could you?" he asked his voice cracking the emotion. He struggled to gain some sort of semblance, but was failing miserably. "How could you do this to me?"

She shrugged. "What did you expect, Robert?" she asked, tears welling up in her dark eyes. "You won't touch me. You won't even look at me. Every time that I suggest we make love you're always too tired."

"Maybe if you didn't constantly walk around in a drug induced haze I'd be more inclined to touch you." he replied angrily. "You're an absolute mess, Holly. And there have been many nights when I've been perfectly willing to make love to you, but I always find you passed out from your liquid lunches."

"Don't you dare start on me about my drinking." she warned him. "When yours is much worse."

"According to you!"

"How many drinks have you had today?" she asked.

"How many drinks have you had, Holly?" he asked. "How many pills did you pop before you came to screw the teenage pool boy? Do you realize the kind of scandal this could cause?"

"Scandal." she sighed. "That's all you really give a damn about! You didn't care that you found me with Blaine, the only thing you care about is what it could cost you and your campaign."

"That's not true!" he argued. "You have no idea what went through my mind when I walked through that door and saw him on top of you. You have no idea how much I wanted to kill him, how much I still want to kill him, for touching you."

"Why do you even care?" she asked on the verge of tears. "Why are you acting like you actually give a damn?"

"Because I do." he admitted softly as he stepped closer to her.

She held her hands up in attempt to stop him from touching her. "I'm nothing more than a possession to you." she said, softly. "And the only reason you care now is because someone else showed interest. I know that you don't want me. You've made that more than clear. So today instead of fighting it I decided to find a way to deal with it."

"Holly." he whispered. "I never said that. I never said any of those things."

"Robert, please." she pleaded. "Let's just forget this entire thing ever happened."

"I don't want to forget it." Robert replied. "I can't. I walked in here to find my wife with someone else and it scared the hell out of me. And for the first time it actually registered that I could lose you and that's the last thing I want."

"I never touched him before today." Holly confessed.

"I know."

She found her way into his warm, loving arms. "I'm sorry." she whispered as she rested her head against his chest. "We're not very nice people, are we Robert?"

"No." he said softly. "We're not."

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 5

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG

_It's true, we're all a little insane  
But its so clear  
Now that I'm unchained_

Holly found her way into his warm, loving arms. "I'm sorry." she whispered as she rested her head against his chest. "We're not very nice people, are we Robert?"

"No." he said softly. "We're not."

"Oh, Robert." she sighed heavily. "We've made such a huge mess out of things."

"That we have, luv." he agreed. "That we have."

"It's over isn't it?" Holly asked softly. "There's no hope."

Robert pulled back to that he could look at her. He gingerly titled her chin upward forcing her eyes to meet his. "There's hope." he tried to assure her. "If anyone can get through this, it's us. We created this mess and now we're going to fix it."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" she asked, tears glistening in her dark eyes. "We get upset and we get angry and instead of talking about it we lash out. Up until now it had been through excessive drinking and passionate sex, but today I crossed the line." she admitted, tears now falling down her cheeks. "I seduced the teenage pool boy and as much as I hate to admit it if you wouldn't have walked in that door when you did I would have had sex with him."

He could see the anguish on her face as she admitted what had to be the most painful confession of her entire life. One that she knew could end their marriage. And his love, trust and faith in her. Holly was in the wrong. She had made the choices, she was half drunk and probably high on painkillers, but she still made the choice and was now owning up to her mistake. And that counted for something. It had to.

"For whatever it's worth, I am truly sorry." she whispered. "Had I gone through with it I would have spent the rest of my life regretting it."

"I know." he said softly. "And it's not just your fault. I should have been more attentive. I should have been listening to you, but instead I chose to tune you out because it was easier for me not to have to admit to my own mistakes and my own failures as a husband. We've both made mistakes, Holly, and now we just have to figure out how we can salvage what's left."

"It's not just about making mistakes, Robert." Holly said. "We both have a problem. We both drink entirely too much and the longer we let it go the worse it's going to get and then we aren't going to be able to salvage anything."

"You think we're alcoholics?" he asked.

"I'm not sure." she answered honestly. "I just know that sometimes we drink too much. And sometimes we do and say things that I know we really don't mean. I think the alcohol is clouding our judgement and if that means we're alcoholics then so be it. I just know that if we don't do something about this right now its only going to get worse."

"We need to get away for a while." he suggested. "We need to be somewhere where we can just focus on us and nothing else."

"It's campaign time, Robert." Holly reminded him. "We can't just up and leave."

"I don't care." he replied. "I'm so afraid of losing you. I never thought it could come to this, I never thought I could actually lose you and now that I know that it's a possibility I want to do everything in my power to change things. Without you I wouldn't be where I am today. Without you I'd be nothing."

"We can fix this." she said with tears in her eyes. "We have to because I don't want to live like this anymore. I want things to be the way they use to be. I want things to be simple and uncomplicated. I just want you to hold me and promise to never let go."

Robert pulled her back into his arms, gently stroking her hair. "I promise." he said softly. "I'll never let go. I want to take you away, away from all this madness until we figure things out."

"I'll follow you to the ends of the earth and back."

"Today was a very sobering experience for us both." he said. "And I think that's the way we should stay from now on."

"Robert." she sighed into his chest. "Where did it all go so wrong? Where did we mess up and why didn't we realize it at the time?

"Hindsight is twenty, twenty , luv." he replied. "We just have to make sure that this doesn't happen again."

"I think that trying to work things out is only going to be half the battle." Holly told him. "If we truly are alcoholics, in every sense of the word, then this is going to take more than just a trip away together to fix things."

"I think that as long as we take this one step at a time we can figure it out together." he replied. "It doesn't matter how long it takes us to get through this just as long as we come out on the other side in one piece. I know it's not going to be easy, but I think we have what it takes to defeat this. We got ourselves into this mess and now we're the only ones who can get us out."

"I'm prepared to do whatever it takes." she said. "As long as you're standing beside me, holding my hand, I know that everything is going to be okay."

tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 6

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

London, England

Robert turned the car off the main road and started down a windy dirt road, going only fifteen miles an hour over the rough terrain. Holly had fallen asleep in the passengers seat and he was going as slowly as he could so he wouldn't jar the car and wake her. He wanted so much for the entire week to be perfect for them. He wanted to spend every waking moment with her, holding her and loving her.

Ten minutes later he pulled into the driveway of 1247 Victoria Lane. The quaint little English cottage sat back away from the road secluded from the entire world by towering willow trees that shaded the entire front yard. An array of beautiful, bright, blooming flowers encased the stone walkway and were scattered here and there through the yard giving it almost a storybook setting of perfection.

He undid his seatbelt and looked over at Holly, who was sleeping peacefully. Deciding he didn't want to wake her he got out of the car and went around to her side, opened the door and then lifted her into his strong arms. The moment she was in his arms she relaxed against him, snuggling closer to his warm body. Robert took a deep breath, indulging himself with her sweet scent. He was so intoxicated by her. He had forgotten how easily he could drown within the depths of her beauty. Of her soul.

Once inside the house Robert carried her up the stairs that led to a single oversized bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed, watching her sleep for several long moments before leaning forward and placing a soft, feather light kiss against her nose. When he pulled back and looked down at her he found her deep, dark eyes staring back up at him.

"Sleep well, luv?" he asked.

Holly smiled. "How long have we been here?"

"About ten minutes." he answered.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful." Robert said, smiling. "I couldn't bring myself to wake you."

Robert seemed much more relaxed, much more alive than he had been in months. His demeanor had made a astonishing change the moment they left Port Charles. He was calm and loving and caring and gentle. In essence he once again became the perfect husband. The man that she had fallen in love with all those years ago. The light of her life.

Holly reached up, gingerly touching her fingertips to the side of his face, as she looked into his piercing blue eyes. There was no where on earth she wanted to be than right there with him. It was what she had wanted all along, for him to just be with her. It didn't matter what they were doing she just wanted to spend time with him.

He took her hand in his and brought to his lips, placing a kiss against the palm. Holly took a deep, staggering breath at the feel of his lips against her. His touch still took her breath away after twenty three years of marriage. The feel of his hands against her was what she had missed so much in the past three months. She wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in him, to drown in the depths of his piercing blue eyes.

"I love you." she whispered. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too." he whispered as he leaned down, his lips mere inches away from hers. "I want to show you just how much."

His lips brushed against hers ever so softly and within seconds they were indulging in a passionate, rousing kiss that set both of them aflame and left them equally breathless. "I want you." he said softly as he pulled away. "I have never wanted you more than I do right now."

As he moved to kiss her again, Holly suddenly turned away from him. "Don't." she protested. "I can't."

Robert placed his fingertips under her chin, forcing her to look at him only to find tears streaming down her face. "Holly?" he said. "What's the matter, luv? Why are you crying?"

"Nothing." she lied. "I just can't do this."

"Holly." Robert whispered. "What's the matter? You can tell me anything, you know that."

She slowly lifted her tear filled eyes to meet his. "How can you still want me after everything I've done?" she asked. "Hell, I even seduced the teenage pool boy, I feel like Mrs. Robinson."

"We've already talked about this." he told her. "It doesn't matter its in the past. I want to be right here with you, in the present. I want to hold you and touch you and make love to you. I just want us to forget the rest of the world."

"I'm so sorry." she said through tears. "How can you possibly forgive me?"

"The same way you can forgive me for all the stupid mistakes I've made." he replied. "You accept them for what they are and you move on." Robert leaned forward and gently kissed away her salty tears, her skin flushed against his lips. "I want to make love to you." he told her again. "But only if you want me to."

"Yes." she said, softly. "I want you to."

He cupped her face in his hand as he covered her soft her soft, full lips with his. In that moment everything else became a blur. Holly wrapped her arms around his neck drawing him closer to her not wanting to ever let him go as their lips met again and again in a series of fervent kisses. She felt as though she was melting into him. It was such a warm, comforting feeling.

A feeling that would have to sustain her for some time to come.

tbc...


	7. Chapter 7

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 7

Pairing: Robert and Holly

Rating: PG13

Their mouths collided together, teasing and tasting and tangling as their bodies moved together rapidly in failing attempts satisfy the insatiable needs that they inflected upon each other with a mere glance. Holly ran her hands up over his arms as her body arched up against his bringing a whole new wave of wicked sensations that left them both crying out as their lips finally parted.

Robert lowered his body down against hers, the layer of perspiration between them only adding to their delirious movement as his body thrust hotly into hers. Holly's hands easily glided down his slick back and then back up again as he drove them both to the point of insanity. After several long, pleasure moments of unadulterated bliss Holly cried out loudly followed by Robert who collapsed, exhausted, into her awaiting arms.

Moments later he raised his head up from the curve of her neck and dropped a kiss on her shoulder. "I love you." he whispered. "I love making love to you."

Holly ran her hand through his damp hair. "I love you, Robert." she whispered back. "I've missed this so much."

He pulled back so that he could look into her eyes. "I don't want to let things get so bad between us ever again that I forget what its like making love to my beautiful wife." he told her. "Moments like this shouldn't be few and far between they should be experienced as much as possible."

"I don't want to ever go back to the way things were." she replied. "I just want to stay right here with you, just like this, forever."

"We're going to fix things." he told her with tears glistening in his eyes. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life making my failures as a husband up to you. I don't want to ever see that look of desperation in your eyes ever again and know that I was the one that put it there."

"Robert, I don't want you to go above and beyond to try and make something up to me that no longer matters." Holly replied. "You're the one who said that we should focus on the present and not on the past and that's exactly what I intend to do from now on."

"I've never been so afraid of losing you before." he confessed. "I just assumed that we would be together always, thru the bad and the good. I just never imagined it would get as bad as it did."

"It's over now." she assured him. ". We can do this, we can get through this together and in one piece I know we can."

"I love your spirit and your determination, but most of all I love your belief in me and in us and that together we can accomplish absolutely anything." Robert told her. "I wouldn't be half the man I am today without you. All the good in me comes from you, your love and your understand and your support, even when you know I'm wrong you're always beside me."

"I love you and I respect you." she told him. "Everything else just falls neatly into place where all that other stuff is involved."

"You are the best wife and the best mother and the friend that anyone could ever hope for." he told her. "I'm so incredibly lucky to have you."

Robert placed a soft kiss against her lips as he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, bring her as closely to him as he could. Holly rested her head against his chest listening to the soft beating of his heart until she fell into a peaceful sleep. And with Holly securely in his arms, Robert wasn't far behind.

A Few Hours Later

Robert felt Holly begin to stir in his arms and then he felt a kiss being pressed to the center of his chest. He threaded his hand through her hair, bringing her lips up next to his kissing her fully on the mouth. "I love you." he said as he pulled away. "And I intend to spend this entire trip showing you just how much."

"What exactly did you have in mind?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

"I think we'll start off with dinner." he told her. "Afterwards we can go for a walk in the moonlight."

"Sounds perfect." Holly sighed. "And then what?"

"Then we come back here." he told her, placing a soft kiss against her lips. "For dessert."

"I love the way you think, Mr. Scorpio."

"I knew you would." he replied with a smile. "Why don't I go start dinner and you can take a nice long bath and then join me downstairs in a bit?"

"You are the perfect husband." Holly replied.

"Yes I am." he agreed. "That makes you the luckiest woman on earth."

Holly laughed softly. "I suppose it does."

Robert placed one final kiss against her lips and the slid out of bed in search of his pants. "Any requests for dinner?" he asked. "Or do you want to be surprised?"

"Actually I do have a request."

Robert slipped his pants on. "What's that, luv?"

Just don't burn it." she said with a smile as she got up out of bed. "I want to actually be able to eat it."

He walked over to where she was standing, wrapped in only a sheet. "You know what?" he asked as he reached for the sheet. "I'm thinking about skipping dinner altogether and heading straight for dessert."

"Don't let me stop you."

tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 8

Pairing: Robert & Holly Scorpio

Rating: PG-13

_Do you wonder why you hate?  
are you still too weak to survive your mistakes? _

In the first two weeks following their return from England, everything was picture perfect for Robert and Holly. Just as it had been when they were away. It was all candlelight and kisses and walks in the moonlight. The trip had breathed life back into their relationship at such a crucial time that they wanted to do whatever it took to hold on to it. They never wanted to feel the hopelessness that came over them before.

They had hosted two dinner parties and attended five social functions, not to mention all the lunch and dinner dates in between without touching a single drop of alcohol. They both thought that they were doing so well. That once they set their minds to something that they could accomplish it. Especially together. After all that's what marriage was suppose to be about, the good and the bad. And in their minds they had survived the absolute worst.

But they soon found out that whilst they were away, wrapped up in their own little world time stopped for them, but not for Port Charles. After a month of being back they found themselves back in the thick of things. Robert's work began to pile up and Holly had charity events that were overlapping and in dire need of her attention. So they started spending more and more time at their respective offices and less and less time with each other.

And suddenly things were back to the way they were before their trip to England. Less the alcohol. It was almost as if they were standing back and watching their marriage crumble down around them but yet they were powerless to stop it. It was like watching a train wreck. Perhaps it wasn't the alcohol that drove them apart, into bitterness yes, but not apart. They would never grow apart. They couldn't. Even when they were at their absolute worse they were still connected by the most profound love, the kind that only existed in fairytales. The alcohol simply brought out the worst in them.

Holly breezed into her home only to find it filled with the delightful sound of Robert's addictive laughter followed by a little girls giggles. She sat down her shopping bags on the sofa and then walked into the den to find her husband sitting on the floor playing with Barbie dolls with their four year old niece, Gracie whilst 6 month old Abbey sat in his lap, preoccupied with her Fisher-Price toy.

"Well, isn't this a surprise." Holly said with a smile as she entered the room, prompting Gracie to drop her doll and fly into her arms. "Are you having fun with Uncle Robbie?"

"Lots of fun!" Gracie said, beaming. "Can we go swimming? I want to practice swimming like we did last week so I can do it all by myself."

"Of course we can." she replied as she brushed Gracie's dark curls away from her face. "I think you're going to be swimming all by yourself very soon."

"Uncle Robbie are you coming too?" she asked. "You missed it last week, I went really far without Aunt Holly's help."

Robert stood up with Abbey in his arms. "I'd love to come and watch."

"Don't you want to swim with us?" Gracie asked, her eyes dancing. "It's lots of fun."

"I can't swim." he replied.

"I'll teach you!" she immediately volunteered.

Twenty minutes later Robert was standing in the shallow end of the swimming pool as Gracie was instructing him on how to swim. Holly was a only few feet away holding Abbey as she watched Robert pretend to be a horrible swimmer purely for Gracie's benefit. Seeing Robert's loving and caring side with their nieces made her smile as she remembered when their sons were children and how devoted of a father he was to them. And suddenly a seed was planted in her mind.

She missed Andrew and William so much since they both left for college. Their house was filled with lingering silence where blasting music and mingled voices of several teenagers use to be. It was funny that they things that once drove her absolutely insane were now the things she longed to hear. She missed having her children at home and there were times where she found herself wishing that she and Robert would have had more children.

Holly wanted to hang onto her maternal instincts more than anything. If there was one thing she was truly good at, that she was truly meant to do, it was being a mother. And she had been a good one, at least she thought so. Every time she held Abbey in her arms she felt all those warm and fuzzy feelings come floating back to her as if they never left. Or perhaps it was desperation she felt that made her blood run hot and adrenaline rush through her veins. The overwhelming sensation to hang on to something that she poured her heart and soul into. Her marriage. And what better way to hang on to the past than to recreate happier times.

Holly wanted another child. And desperately. The thought had been swimming around in her mind for years. In the past she had hoped for an accidentally pregnancy. Wanting nothing more than for the birth control to fail. She wanted to wake up to dizziness and nausea. She wanted to feel the little life growing inside of her. Up until now it had been nothing more than a fantasy, an amusement to pass the time, but now the feeling only got stronger and stronger and it was getting harder and harder to fight and push to the back of her mind where most of her dreams went to die.

She was now in a position where she could actually have what she wanted, she could have another baby. Maybe it could even change things back to the way they were before...before everything had went so incredibly wrong between them. Robert loved children, he loved being a father, he would agree to having another baby.

Several hours later, after Mac had came and picked up the girls, Holly sat on the edge of their four poster bed rubbing lotion onto her legs as she watched Robert undress through the mirror in front of her. She had been waiting for the perfect time to bring up the fact that she wanted to have another baby, but she wanted to make it so that he couldn't and wouldn't say no to her.

"Robert." she said softly, her British accent as smooth as honey and just as sweet. "You are coming to bed aren't you, darling?"

He tied the string of his pyjamas. "I was thinking about it." he replied as he walked toward the bed. "Why did you have something in mind?"

Holly ran her hand down and her leg and then back up again. "I thought you and I could discuss something that's all."

Robert watched every movement Holly made. "What's that, luv?"

She looked up at him, her eyes practically dancing the delight, she had him right where she wanted him. There was no way he could say no to her request. "Well it starts with you taking these off." she said as she reached for the string on his pyjama bottoms. "And it kind of goes from there."

"You're up to something." he observed.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you've got that look in your eye." he replied. "The one where I know you're up to something."

"I'm not up to anything." she assured him as she untied the string that she had been toying with. "I just thought that you and I could..."

"Could what?" Robert asked, grabbing her hands.

Holly continued to look up into his eyes. There was nothing left for her to do other than just tell him. She already had his attention. Honesty was always best. "I want to have a baby."

Robert just looked at her blankly for several long moments. He was trying to determine rather or not she was actually serious about the words that just came out of her mouth. Why on earth would she want to have a baby now? Their children were grown. He smiled, deciding that it was her idea of a joke. Something to catch him off guard and get his attention. "Holly." he said softly. "That's not funny, luv. Now, seriously, what was it that you wanted us to do?"

Her eyes grew dark and she pulled out of his grasp. "I'm serious!" she said as she stood up. "I want to have a baby."

"Our boys are grown." he reminded her. "Our days of diaper duty and soccer practice are over and have been for almost five years now. Why would you want to have another baby?"

"I always wanted a daughter." she confessed. "I've thought about this for a long time Robert, I really have. I want to have another baby more than anything in the world."

"Oh, Holly." he sighed. "You just miss Andrew and William." he tried to assure her. "Their actually moving forward with their lives and I know its going to take a while for you to adjust to the fact that they don't need mummy quite as much anymore, but you will. Having another baby isn't going to erase what you're feeling now."

"I don't want to replace our sons!" she yelled. "I want to have another baby and that doesn't have anything to do with them."

"Holly, I'm sorry, but I think this is absolutely ridiculous." he said. "We're both at places in our lives where a baby just doesn't fit in. I'm sorry, but I don't want to have another child."

"Robert!" she yelled again. "That's not fair!"

"I don't want to have another baby." he told her. "End of discussion."

"Don't you dare dismiss me!" Holly warned. "I don't work for you. I'm your wife, incase you may have forgotten, and a deserve a little more respect than that."

"There's nothing to discuss."

"I want a baby." she repeated.

Robert backed away from her and started walking toward the door. "We're not discussing this." he told her. "Campaign time is starting very soon and all our efforts need to be focused there and not on some crazy idea of yours about us having a baby after raising two grown sons."

"But, Robert!"

"Holly!" he yelled. "No! I want you to let it go!"

"Fine." she breathed out. "I'll let it go."

Robert was about to walk out the bedroom door but suddenly found himself walking back over to her. "No." he said. "That was way to easy."

"What?" she asked. "You said to let it go and I'm just doing what you told me to do. I'm letting it go."

"Whatever it is that you're thinking, don't!" he warned her. "There aren't many things I'm sure of anymore, but us having another child after all this time is most definitely one of them!"

"I said I would let it go!" she yelled loudly. "Let's just forget the entire thing!"

"I don't know what the hell you're trying to accomplish with this whole baby thing, but you can forget about it!" he told her. "I want you out in the field with me come campaign time not at home kneeling over the toilet with morning sickness."

"All you care about is your damn career." she accused. "Life is nothing but one big campaign after another for you is it?"

"I happen to love my job!" he said. "And it's something that I do rather well."

"That's true." she agreed. "But you know what, Robert? You're a lousy husband!"

"Maybe I am!" he agreed. "But at least when I'm at work I don't have to hear you bitch."

Holly closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. "Some days I wonder why I even married you to begin with."

"Because you were pregnant!" he yelled. "That's why you married me."

"Yes I know!" she yelled back. "But why the hell did I stay married to you?"

"I ask myself the same thing everyday!"

"You know what I don't want to talk to you right now, not when you're like this.." she said as she pushed past him and toward the bathroom. "I don't even want to look at you right now."

Holly slammed the bathroom door and then locked it behind her. Dammit she hated when she and Robert fought. Sometimes they could be so mean and nasty to each other. And they never truly meant what they said.. Things would just get heated and they would argue and things would spiral from there. After an while things would calm down and they would apologize to each other. They just needed a little space. She walked over to the vanity and opened the left side of the medicine cabinet.

Perhaps Robert was right after all. Maybe she really didn't want to have another baby maybe she just missed their sons. Maybe she was just trying to hang onto a little bit of her former self, something to remind her of all the good in her life, in her marriage. And she would have to spend the next eighteen years of her life devoted to a child if she had another baby. Yes, perhaps Robert was right after all.

She removed the packet of birth control from the cabinet and opened it up. She reached for the current day's pill and then brought it up to her mouth. The last thing they needed was a baby in the midst of their self created chaos. Hell the last thing she needed was nine months of aches and pains. She quickly washed down the pill and placed the packet back in the cabinet.

She closed the door to the medicine cabinet and made her way out of the bathroom. She wanted to find Robert and apologize. He was right she wasn't thinking rationally. After spending the afternoon with their nieces she just got carried away with the idea of having another child and she took it incredibly too far. They were past that stage in their lives and had been for a while now.

Downstairs Robert found himself standing in front of the bar in the livingroom. Before he could even think one hand was on the decanter of whiskey and the other hand was removing the cap. He watched as the liquor rushed out of the decanter and into the tumbler in front of him. He was dying for a drink. He was fighting everything inside of him not to take it, but it was like battling an internal demon and he just wasn't strong enough.

He raised the tumbler up to his mouth, his lips finally touching the coolness of the glass. But he found himself hesitating, hesitating to take a drink of something that he wanted so badly. He knew he shouldn't take the drink. He knew how wrong it was. But suddenly his head was filled with Holly's voice, yelling and screaming and demanding and all his resistance vanished.

The drink was quickly downed. And he felt so much better afterwards. So calm and relaxed. Alcohol wasn't such a bad thing for him after all. At least he thought so.

Holly watched in awe and in shock from her position on the top of the staircase as Robert easily downed a drink. They had promised each other that they weren't going to drink anymore. That it only made things worse. It made them spiral out of control. She thought he was stronger than that. She thought that he could conquer anything. But it seemed as though she was wrong. Her faith shattered.

She didn't even stick around to watch him pour the second drink, she fled to their bedroom in tears. It was her fault, it was entirely her fault, she had drove him to take a drink. And for several long minutes she sobbed on the bed controllably until the anguish faded as the anger started to rise up inside of her.

Within moments her tears were dry and she was once again standing in front of the open medicine cabinet in the bathroom. She reached for the birth control and opened it up, counting the pills inside. Several thoughts ran through her mind, twisting and turning and spinning.

"Fuck it!" she swore softly under her breath. The packet and the remaining pills hit the bottom of the waste basket with a thud.

Holly reached back into the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of aspirin. She popped the top and poured a few pills into her hand. Green and pale yellow capsules. Prozac. She reached for the glass sitting on the sink and filled it up halfway with water. She knew she shouldn't take the pills. She knew it was wrong. But suddenly her head was filled with Robert's voice, yelling and screaming and telling her that he didn't want another child. She closed her eyes trying to escape it but all she could see was Robert downing that drink and in that moment all her resistance vanished.

She never even hesitated she simply placed the pills in her mouth and then washed them down with water. And she felt so much better afterwards. At least she told herself she did.

And in that very moment it all came crashing down.


	9. Chapter 9

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 9

Pairing: Robert and Holly

Rating: PG-13

_You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
And oh you love to hate me don't you, honey?  
I'm your sacrifice. _

Holly began to ransack through the medicine cabinet. Pill bottles and tubes of lipstick hit the marble vanity with a bang, some of it falling to the floor, others landing in the sink as she searched for her Valium. She needed something to help her sleep, she needed something to get her through the night peacefully.

Frustrated that she couldn't seem to find what she was looking for she began to pick up the pill bottles laying across the vanity and dump them out looking for that little pill with the cut out V in the middle. She was in a desperate search for something to erase the image of Robert downing a drink from her mind. At that very moment in time she was willing to take anything she could get her hands on.

By the time Holly had thoroughly completed her extensive search of sedatives an array of pills were scattered out across the bathroom. On the vanity. In the sink. On the cold marble tile. After drinking down the rest of the water she used to wash down her pills she threw the empty glass across the room. It hit the edge of the bathtub before shattering before her. But she didn't care. She slammed the doors of the medicine cabinet shut and made her way back into the bedroom leaving all the evidence of her frantic search behind.

In the past four weeks or so Holly had been careful, oh so careful, when she popped a pill or three when she went in for her nightly bath. A little something to help her sleep. A little something to relax her nerves. A little something to keep her from going over the edge. Just a little something to get her through the day. She had decided that what Robert didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Hurt him? Like that could actually happen. He was downstairs, more than likely, knocking back drink after drink. She knew Robert and she knew that he wouldn't be able to stop at just one. One would never do. Once he started he seemed to have a very difficult time stopping himself, especially when he was alone. Out in public it wasn't so bad, he didn't wanted to get so blitzed that it ruined his reputation, but behind closed doors where noone could see him is where all the damage was really done.

He had drink after drink after drink and nothing would stop him until he passed out. One mere drink would never be enough for him not when he could walk around in a drunk haze in the privacy of his own, secluded, home. He loved his children and his wife, but he loved his liquor too. Sometimes Holly often wondered that if he had to choose between her and a bottle of single malt scotch which one he would actually pick.

And it was true, she had slipped up, she hadn't been able to give up her pills, but they were for medicinal reasons as where Robert's preoccupation and fascination with alcohol was not. She had given up the alcohol, she knew she could and she wanted to prove to Robert, more than anything, that she was strong enough to beat her so called addiction. Not that she really had one.

Holly climbed into bed, images of Robert dancing and spinning through her mind as though she was on some sort of acid trip. She tried as hard as she could but nothing she did could remove the image of him taking a drink from her mind. It was permanently burnt into her brain. And there was no escaping it. She threw back the blankets and got up out of bed heading straight downstairs with every intention of confronting Robert.

When she topped the staircase Robert was sitting at the bar, his hand wrapped around a half empty tumbler of what she guessed to be scotch. He seemed to be staring, somewhat, into space. He swirled his fingertip around the top of the cool glass as he tried to come to terms with the events of the night. How could Holly possibly want another baby after all these years? It just didn't make sense.

He lifted the glass to his lips wanting that final taste of heaven before he went back upstairs to deal with the aftermath of his argument with Holly. As the liquor was smoothing sliding down his throat leaving a trail of burning fire in its wake Holly let her presence be known. "Well, darling." she said softly as she elegantly made her way down the stairs. "How many drinks have you had tonight?"

Robert looked up at his wife and then sighed heavily. So he had been caught. And red handed too. He just looked at her too ashamed of his actions to even try and defend himself. He could see the hurt and the anger and the disappointment in her dark eyes. He got up from the bar and began walking toward her knowing that he would have to grovel at her feet to get her to trust and believe in him ever again.

Feeling the weight of his mistake lying heavily upon him, he did the only thing he could do. He apologized. "Holly, I'm sorry." he said softly. "I'm so, so sorry, luv. I didn't intend to have a drink it's just we got into this huge argument and I couldn't handle it and I know I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Holly. It won't happen again." He almost felt like a child begging forgiveness of his mother after misbehaving. "I'm sorry." He apologized as he dissolved into tears.

"You're damn right you fucked up." Holly breathed out as she wiped the freshly fallen tears from her eyes. "We promised each other that we weren't going to drink anymore. You made a promise to me that you could and would stop drinking, Robert."

"I know." he said, his voice sounding like that of a small child's. "And I'm sorry I didn't intend to drink it just kind of..."

"Kind of what, Robert?!" she demanded to know as she interrupted him. "It just kind of happened? Is that what you were going to say?" When he didn't answer quickly enough she yelled yet again. "Robert?! Is that what you were going to say?"

"Yes." he answered, defeated. He hung his head down, unable to take the look of disappointment in her eyes another moment longer. "Sorry."

"Dammit!" she swore. "I can't believe this." she said as her tears started to fall more rapidly than before. "You promised me, Robert. You promised me."

"I'm sorry." he repeated. It seemed to be all he could say. After finally working up enough courage again he lifted his eyes up to meet hers, finding them filled with tears. "I never meant to intentionally hurt you, Holly, you have to believe that."

"How can I?" she asked. "How the hell can I?"

"Because I'm telling you the truth." he told her, honestly. "You don't know how much I wish I could erase the past twenty minutes. I love you, Holly, I love you so very, very much. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. You have to believe me. You have to."

"I'm sorry too, Robert." she said as she wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry that I put all my love and faith and trust in you only to have it shattered!"

"Holly, please, please don't say that." he pleaded. "I can make it up to you. I can prove that you can trust me again. I can." he reached out for her only to have her flinch away from him as though she had been burnt. Her pulling away from him hurt more than anything she could possibly say to him. "Holly."

"Don't!" she warned. "Just leave me alone. Don't touch me!" She wanted to get as far away from him as possible. She couldn't bare to look at him any longer. She turned her back to him and took a few steps across the room wanting to put some space between them before something happened that they would both regret. "I can't do this right now."

Robert walked over to where she was and very hesitantly placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. "Holly." he breathed softly into her ear as he finally felt her relax somewhat under his touch. "I'm going to make this up to you." he promised. "I'll never hurt you like this ever again, luv, you have to believe me. I hate myself right now."

Holly could feel the warmth of Robert's tears as they hit her exposed shoulder. There was nothing more she wanted to do than to take him in her arms and reassure him, but she couldn't. She couldn't let herself become enthralled by his wonderful magnetic charm and his lovingly apologetic words when he had just crushed every last bit of faith she had in him straight to the ground beneath them.

Her resistance when it came to Robert wasn't all that great at all, but when they were both so open and vulnerable it was basically nonexistent. She knew how sorry he was about the entire mess, but sorry didn't make it go away. She felt herself relaxing into him, into his loving arms and sweet embrace, and she knew that if she didn't pull away soon that it would all be over for what was left of her resistance.

He kept repeating how sorry he was in her ear, ever so softly. Then his mouth moved from her ear down to her neck, pressing a single kiss to the soft flesh beneath, his lips lightly brushing against her. "Love you." he murmured. "I don't want to lose you over one stupid mistake. I couldn't live with myself if I did."

Holly tried to fight all the feelings that he evoked from her with a mere touch of his hand, but she was failing miserably and she knew it. Once she felt his lips against her skin she knew that it was all over. There was no resistance left within her. His open mouth glided down her neck and she was forever lost in him. Almost.

"I love you so much." he said against her neck as his hands encircled themselves around her waist, pulling her closer and tighter against him. "What do I have to do to convince you of that? What do I have to do to prove to you how much I love you? How much I need you?"

The image of him taking that drink reentered her mind like a flashing neon sign. She could see him raising the glass up to his lips and drinking the liquor inside down. It kept replaying and replaying, the same bad movie over and over again. And suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled herself away from him and fled for the stairs. "I can't do this."

Robert stood in complete shock as Holly pried herself from his arms and bolted for the stairs. And in that very moment he realized what a huge mistake he had truly made. Within mere seconds he was hot on her trail. He topped the stairs just as he heard the bedroom door slam in the distance. He had to find some way to get through to her, because if he didn't then he faced the real possibility of losing her forever.

He found Holly laying face down on the bed, sobbing into the pillow. He made his way over to the four poster bed and sat down on the edge beside her. "Holly." he said softly as he placed his hand on the center of her back. "Please talk to me, luv." he pleaded. "Please. Just tell me what you're thinking."

"Just go away." she said, her voice muffled by the pillow. "I don't want to talk to you right now."

Robert felt so defeated he knew that he had screwed up and royally and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to get himself out of this mess. But dammit she wouldn't even listen to him, she wouldn't even talk to him. It was as if she was completely shutting him out without giving him a chance to explain his actions. And the more he thought about the angrier it made him. A little unnerved by her stubbornness, he reached forward and forcefully turned her over onto her back.

"Robert!" she admonished. "Go away!"

"No!" he said firmly. "Not until we've talked about this."

"There's nothing to discuss." she replied. "You broke your promise to me, you took a drink. And in our home, where you knew I could see you, of all places."

"I'm sorry." Robert replied. "I'll spend the rest of my life apologizing, but I think we should talk this over. I deserve that much. You owe me that much."

"I don't owe you a damn thing." Holly snapped. "I just want you to leave me alone!"

Robert fought against ever fiber of his being not to lose his temper with her. It was getting harder and harder to do by the minute. She knew all the right buttons to push and just how hard to push them. She got under his skin like noone else and there was simply no way to get her out. She was every breath he took, every beat of his heart, everything that kept him going and then some. But sometimes she infuriated him so much he wanted to strangle the life right out of her.

"Holly!" he yelled, struggling to get her attention. "We have to talk about this."

"I just want you to leave me alone!" she repeated again. "Please, just go."

Feeling his temper beginning to slip, Robert got up off the bed and headed directly into the bathroom, attempting to slam the door shut behind him only for it to bounce back a few times before doing so. He headed over to the vanity where he knew Holly had kept liquor in the past, but was stopped in his tracks by the sound of crunching under his feet. He quickly switched on the vanity light and looked down only to discover the bathroom floor littered with pills.

Robert slowly backed up toward the door, taking in the sight before him. Every bit of calmness that he was hanging onto had evaporated. He had never been so mad in his entire life. He was certain smoke was coming out of his ears because he felt as though he was going to implode with anger. The bathroom door flung open and suddenly he was standing at the edge of their bed.

"Holly." he said, the anger leaking through the calmness of his voice. "Get up."

She immediately picked up on the change in his tone of voice. She pushed herself up from her position on the bed. "What is it now?" she asked, her voice filled with anger and annoyance. "I already told you..."

"I don't give a goddamn what you told me!" he bellowed. "You just jumped all over me for having a drink and I came up here to find the bathroom floor swimming with pills."

"What's your point?" she asked.

"My point?!" he asked, angrily. "What's my point?" he asked again, leaning forward and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her up off the bed. "Get up!" he demanded. "I'm going to show you my point."

"Robert, let go of me!" she yelled as he pulled her to her unwilling feet and toward the bathroom. "I'm serious, Robert." she said as she tried to free herself from his grasp. "Get your drunken hands off of me!"

"Not until you hear what I have to say." he replied. "You're going to listen to my every word."

"I don't care what you have to say I just want you to let go of me!" she screamed. "Let go!"

He tightened his grip on her wrist and pulled her closer to him. "How long have you been back on these pills?" he asked, looking her directly in the eye. "And don't lie to me!"

Holly looked up into his face. "After what you did tonight I don't owe you any explanations!" she told him. "You don't know how much it hurt when I started down the steps and caught you taking that drink after we promised each other that we were going to stop drinking."

"That crap doesn't fly with me, Holly." he said in a warning tone. "You went on and on about how I broke my promise to you and how much it hurt you. I was begging you to forgive me, hell I thought I could really lose you over this. And then I come up here to find this mess! Now I want to know the truth, how long have you been back on these?!"

Her dark eyes burnt into his. "I wasn't drinking." she told him. "I kept my promise to you. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in five weeks."

"You may not have been drinking, which I don't know if I believe you on that or not right now, but there's one thing I know for sure and its that you taking these pills didn't just start tonight." he said firmly. "With all these pills laying around just calling out your name there's no way you could have possibly resisted."

"I resisted the alcohol." she told him, trying to free herself from his strong hold. "Now let me go!"

As she struggled to pull away from him his hold only got stronger and stronger. "How long?!" he yelled. "Tell me!"

"Let go!" she demanded. "Let go of me!"

Their struggle grew more and more intense. And before they could get a handle on their emotions or their strengths it was all over. Holly pulled away too hard and ended up flying backwards on the floor, her forearm landing directly in the midst of the broken glass for her earlier tantrum. Robert immediately rushed to her side.

He knelt down beside her as she pushed herself up into a sitting position with her uninjured arm. Holly turned her other arm over to find a vertical cut down her wrist. Robert immediately removed his handkerchief from his pocket. "Here." he said as he began to wrap it around her bleeding wrist. "Looks pretty bad I should call Alan."

"I think it's just superficial." she said softly as she placed her hand over the bandaged wrist. "I'll be fine."

"Let's get you into bed." Robert said as he helped her up off the bathroom floor. "I'll feel much better if he comes and looks at it."

"Robert, it'll be okay." she said. "Just get the first aid kit out of the bathroom."

"Are you sure?" he asked, still applying pressure to her wrist. "I don't want to take any chances."

"Yes." Holly answered. "I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks."

Robert headed for the bathroom and emerged a few moments later. He sat down on the edge of the bed and placed the first aid kit on the night stand, opening it up and searching through it until he found what he needed. He began to carefully clean the wound, not wanting to cause Holly anymore pain than he already had. She drew in a sharp breath as the peroxide was applied to her wound leaving a slight stinging sensation in its wake.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he looked up at her. "Does it hurt?"

"Just stings a little." she replied.

Robert finished cleaning the wound, covered it with antibiotic and then dressed it. "How's that?" he asked. "Too tight?"

"No." she answered. "It's fine. Thank you."

"It's the least I could do." he said as he reached back into the kit and removed an ace bandage. "Almost done."

"What's that for?" Holly asked.

"We can't have you walking around with a bandage covering your wrist." he told her. "The press would have a field day."

"Oh." she breathed out. "I can see the headlines now: Mayor's wife tries to commit suicide."

He brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss against the back of it. "I'm so sorry, luv." he said, not being able to look her in the eye. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me." she told him. "It was an accident, Robert."

"But it was my fault." he argued. "I shouldn't have grabbed you like that."

Holly brought her hand up to his face, his five o'clock shadow scrapping roughly against her delicate flesh. "Robert, look at me." she said softly as she ran her fingertips down under his chin and tilted it up. "It wasn't your fault."

Robert finally raised his eyes to meet hers, his piercing blue eyes filled with tears. "I never meant to hurt you." he said softly. "You have to believe that."

She gently wiped away a fallen tear. "I know." she said softly. "I know that you would never willingly or purposely hurt me. It was an accident." she said as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for, darling. Let's just forget about this entire mess."

Holly placed yet another kiss on his cheek and then moved down farther brushing her lips ever so softly against his. Robert quickly pulled away from her. "Holly." he said softly. "I don't..."

She placed her finger to his lips, silencing him. "The only thing I want right now is for you to make love to me." Holly said softly. "I need you to hold me and love me. And I don't want to think about anything else."

tbc...


	10. Chapter 10

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 10

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: R

_I know what runs through your blood  
You do this all in vain  
Because of you my mind is always racing  
And it gets under my skin  
To see you giving it  
And now your trip begins_

Robert untangled himself from satin sheets and the comforting warmth of his sleeping wife and made his way out of bed careful not to wake her. The events of the night before were a bit blurry in his mind, but they all came rushing back to him the moment he entered the bathroom to find the none too subtle hints of last night's blowout scattered across the floor. Pills. And glass. And Holly's blood.

They had been through a lot of things together, both good and bad but up until now it had never brought about actual bloodshed. He wetted a wash cloth and under the bathtub faucet and then began to wipe up the dried, brown blood from the marble tile. He thought things had gone too far before, but he was no where near prepared to deal with the aftermath of last nights events.

He carefully cleaned up the broken glass and the pills that littered the bathroom floor and vanity. As he was sweeping up the last of the pills on the floor he walked over to the trash can at the vanity to empty the dustpan, only something caught his eye before he got the chance. He placed the handheld dustpan on the edge of the vanity and reached down into the almost empty trash can to retrieve what he knew was a packet of birth control.

Once again he felt his anger beginning to rise within him, until he opened it up to find it almost full and then something inside him snapped. It snapped so hard, so clean, so crisp that he couldn't even move. Every amount of trust he had in his wife had just vanished, seemingly, into thin air. They had discussed having another baby. They had. And the decision was no. At least he thought they had agreed. Apparently not.

A baby? She couldn't be possibly be serious. At this point in their lives to start all over again seemed absurd. Andrew and William had been out of the house almost five years, they were adults moving forward with their lives. The next obvious step for them was grandchildren, not another baby. When they had discussed it the previous night he chalked it up to empty nest syndrome, but now he wasn't so sure. Holly was actually prepared to go behind his back and purposely get pregnant.

He didn't know how much more their marriage could take. There was no trust, no faith and no unity anymore. All they were left with were lies and selfishness and insincerity. The love was still there though. Passionate, all consuming love that knew absolutely no bounds. But sometimes love just wasn't enough. And even the strongest love couldn't keep two people together that couldn't stand to be in the same room.

Robert dropped the birth control back down into the trash can. If Holly thought that having a baby was going to solve all their problems then she had another thing coming to her. He wasn't about to have another baby to begin with and now he was even more determined than ever to keep from becoming a father again. Even if he had to go to unimaginable lengths and play just as dirty as she was.

Two hours later

Holly slowly made her way down the winding back staircase and into the gourmet kitchen to find it completely empty. Usually Robert was sitting at the breakfast on Saturday mornings having lunch. At least she was pretty certain that it was Saturday. But then again it was early and she usually didn't grace anyone with her lovely presence before noon, Robert often included.

"Robert?" she called out as she entered the den. "Robert?"

He placed the drink in his hand down between the sofa and the end table, praying that she wouldn't go as far as the sofa. "Yes, luv?" he answered from behind the newspaper.

"I hate waking up alone." she said as she sat down beside him on the sofa. "Why didn't you wake me?"

He put the paper down and focused his attention on his wife. "I couldn't." he confessed. "You looked so peaceful sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you."

Holly smiled. "Oh, darling." she sighed dramatically. "One would think with your line of work that you would be a better liar."

"Okay." he breathed out. "I didn't want to hear you whine and complain." he said. "How's that for the truth?"

"Much better."

"He folded up the newspaper and tossed it on the cocktail table in front of him. "What are you doing up at this ungodly hour anyway?"

"I thought you and I could spend the day together."

"Oh, Holly." he sighed, more annoyed than relieved. "I have plans for later this morning."

"What plans?" she asked, immediately. "You didn't tell me you had any plans."

"Yes I did." he argued. "Grant and I are going to play golf."

"You never mentioned before now, Robert."

"Grant and I always play golf on Saturdays." he told her. "Whilst you're off doing whatever it is that you do. Sleeping I suppose."

"You and Grant don't always play golf on Saturdays." she argued.

"We do." he insisted. "You're just too busy sleeping off you're party mix of pills to notice that I'm gone that's all."

"That was a nasty comment, Robert." she said.

"I'm sorry, luv." he apologized.

"Sorry about the comment?" she asked.

"Sorry that you thought it was nasty." Robert replied. "I'm sure you can find someway to occupy yourself whilst I'm playing golf."

"I'd rather you stay here." Holly said as she moved closer to him. "I'm sure I can find some way to keep you occupied."

The closer she moved to him, the more nervous Robert become. Unable to take the risk of her moving any closer to him he abruptly stood up just as she was leaning in to kiss his jaw. "I should go get ready."

Holly looked up at him her eyes searching for his but only finding the top of his head. He knew that he was in the wrong. And he knew that she knew it too. "Robert." she said as she stood up. "You've been drinking haven't you?"

When he finally lifted his eyes he saw something flash in hers. A flash filled with such anger, such desperation, such fear that he held his breath and waited for whatever she was about to unleash on him. And whatever it was it was going to be bad. That much he knew.

"Robert?!" she called out. "Answer me!"

And suddenly he became enraged. By the way she treated him. By the way she belittled him like he was a small child in need of reprimand from his mummy. By the way she was such a hypocrite with her demeaning, hurtful and sometimes vicious words. And most of all by the way she was now able to look straight through him as though he was nothing but one big disappointment.

"Yes!" he bellowed at the very top of his lungs. His voice was so loud and so deep that Holly physically shook.

"Why?" she breathed out, defeated. "Why, Robert?"

"Why not?!" he gritted out. "You're still walking around in a drug induced haze."

"Oh, I see, because I'm still taking my medication you think its okay for you to self medicate yourself with alcohol." she concluded. "Is that right, Robert?"

He glared at her. God! Sometimes he just absolutely hated to be anywhere near her. "Medication? Your medication?" he repeated. "Because you have real reasons for taking all those pills."

"They're all prescribed by doctors." she pointed out. "It's not like I'm scoring them on the streets."

"Of course they're all prescribed!" he shouted. "You're the Mayor's wife like they're going to tell you that you can't have them. All you have to do is walk into the office and complain and boom prescriptions are written."

"You think that's what I do?" she asked, slightly disappointed in his opinion of her need for the medication that was prescribed to her. "You think I just walk in and demand things and people drop at my feet?"

"Its politics, Holly." he replied. "It's all politics. Why wouldn't they jump at the chance to make you as happy as possible when you're constantly raising money for their benefit?"

"Dammit, Robert, not everything is about politics!" she yelled.

"It is when every goddamn doctor in Port Charles is stocking our medicine cabinet to look like a pharmacy." he told her. "When they've, without conscience, turned my wife into a pill popping addict."

"I am not an addict!" she practically screamed at him. "Those pills were prescribed to me because I need them."

"Yeah, you need them all right." Robert sighed. "In fact you can't live without them."

"They were prescribed!" she repeated. "If I didn't have to spend so much time alone then I wouldn't need half of them."

"So this is my fault?!" he asked outraged. "You pop pills to help you get through the day because you've somehow convinced yourself that you need them but yet it's my fault?

"This isn't about me." she corrected him. "This is about you and your undying need to always walk around with a drink in your hand."

"I don't always walk around with a drink in my hand!" Robert argued. "That's something that you've theorized so that you feel better about your addiction."

"For the very last time, Robert Scorpio, I don't have an addiction." she told him. "What I have is a husband who never pays attention to me and a social calender so booked that I barely have time to breathe between each event. So if I need a little something to relax me or to keep me calm or help me sleep then so be it. You never complained about me taking pills when we were on the campaign trail, in fact you were the one that encourage that I take them."

"Don't you dare turn this around on me!" he warned. "I suggested that you take something to help you sleep because you were exhausted from campaigning. I never suggested that you use them as a crutch to get through every event and crises for the rest of your life."

"I don't use them as a crutch!" she yelled. "I don't! You on the other hand think that a drink will solve every inadequacy you have! You think that it soothes and erases all the mistakes you've made as a husband and as a father and as a politician and as a human being! But it doesn't, Robert!"

"I need something." he replied. "I need something to help me get through this hell of a marriage. I need something to get me through the day. I need something to keep me from snapping."

"If this marriage is such hell for you then why are you still in it?" Holly asked. "Please feel free to leave, Robert. I'm sure as hell not about to stop you from walking out that door. But we both know that you're not going anywhere. You can't afford to leave me. It would scar your prestigious reputation far too much and we all know that you need me. Without me you have no future in politics!"

"I don't need you, Holly." he said bitterly. "I haven't needed or wanted you in a very long time."

"You need me." she repeated. "They don't want a Governor who's integrity is tarnished by a nasty, bitter divorce no more than they want one that's a stumbling drunk. The state wants a Governor who is a devoted family man, a wonderful father and a loving husband. If you walk out on me then you have no chance at being Governor of New York."

"I'm going to be Governor of New York." he said, confidently. "And what better way to get sympathy votes than to divorce my controlling, addict wife."

"I think you've had too much to drink this morning." Holly announced. "The alcohol seems to be clouding your judgement. You divorce me and you'll never win that campaign." she threatened. "I'll expose you for what and who you really are."

"And what's that?" he asked.

"A drunk." she said as she walked over to the bar and took the cap off the decanter of scotch. "I'll get all the sympathy and you'll get no votes." Holly filled two tumblers up to overflowing and then took one in each hand, liquor dripping everywhere as she presented her husband with a glass. "Here you go, darling." she said with a smile. "Drink up."

Robert could feel his temperament beginning to slip. He wanted so badly to reach out and take the glass from her hand. He wanted to drink down all of the contents, hell he'd lick the glass to get out every last drop. He took a deep breath trying to regain some semblance of control, but with her standing in front of him, condescending him, he couldn't take it. He batted the glass right out of her hand sending it and its contents spilling onto the floor, splashing scotch on them both.

Holly wiped a few drops of scotch off her cheek with her already liquor doused, bandaged hand. She raised the remaining glass up, tipped it toward Robert, and then took a long drink savoring every incredible drop of alcohol that slid down her throat.

"Well, my darling." she sighed. "I guess we're both off the wagon now."

"Well, if we're both off the wagon we may as well be off together." Robert said as he made his way over to the bar and began pouring himself a drink.

"I don't know that I want to be off the wagon." Holly admitted in a moment of sanity.

Robert took a long drink of his vodka. "Come on, luv." he said softly. "We both know that it tastes like pure heaven."

Holly simply finished off the rest of her drink and then sat the empty tumbler on the bar. "You should get ready for your golf game."

"I really should." he agreed as he poured himself yet another drink. "I don't want to keep Grant waiting." he said as he picked up the drink and began walking out of the room.

"Robert?" she called out after him.

He stopped in the doorway. "Yes?"

"After everything that happened last night, why did you come down here and have a drink this morning?" she asked. "I thought after we made love last night that everything was going to be okay. What changed between in a few hours?"

"Deceit." he answered simply. "I found your birth control in the trash can this morning."

Holly just looked at him, unable to say a word.

"I can't trust you Holly." he said, sadly.

"So what does that mean?" she asked, unshed tears filling her chocolate eyes. "What does that mean for us?"

"I don't know."

tbc...


	11. Chapter 11

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 11

Pairing: Robert and Holly

Rating: R

_You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand  
This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand_

One Month Later

There was a party being thrown in Robert's honor at the Port Charles Hotel Ballroom. It was sort of a good luck gesture now that he had finally accepted the democratic nomination to run for governor of New York. And of course the happy, loving couple arrived hand in hand looking absolutely stunning from head to toe as if they could conquer the entire world with a mere glance.

Robert looked regally handsome in his perfectly tailored black tux. He showcased a million dollar smile and with his gorgeous wife on his arm he need no further accessories. He was democratic nominee for Governor of the state of New York. He was high on pride and confidence. People were congratulating him and patting him on the back at every turn. It was a dream come true.

After much debating and several offers from several designers Holly finally settled on an ivory creation that was that hugged every ample asset like a second skin. It was strapless, sultry, sexy and incredibly spectacular. She always had the exquisite beauty of an Egyptian goddess, but now she truly looked like one. Her hair and makeup were flawless. And the jewels that practically dripped from her body were priceless. Holly Scorpio was utter perfection..

The stylist and the hairdresser and the makeup artist that took four hours to put her together could argue differently. Holly had always been a beautiful woman, but getting her together after a month long drinking binge was one of the most difficult tasks they had ever faced with her. Hiding the dark circles under her eyes and covering the bruise on her arm where she had fell the previous week in a drunken stupor was a tedious process. Holly Scorpio was a drunken mess.

The silk of Holly's dress was soft and smooth and cool under Robert's palm as his hand slid from her back to around her waist to rest on her hip. Her hand lovingly covered his, her diamond rings sparkling in the luminous light of the ballroom. From across the room they looked absolutely enthralled with each other. So happy. So in love. They were the perfect people to be Governor and First Lady of the state of New York.

He leaned toward her and whispered something to her causing her to smile her perfect smile before whispering her reply back to him. There was something so warm and so fairytale like about them. People were absolutely captivated by them and by everything they did. They were, and always had been, like Royalty to Port Charles. Their charming accents and their sophistication stood out like noone else's. It was as if they had their own King and Queen to which all other relationships were measured to.

"I hope you didn't pop too many pills, luv." he whispered to her. "It would ruin the event if you were to collapse from overdose."

Holly smiled. "Fuck you, Robert."

"Go back on the birth control." he told her. "And I'll consider it."

"I'll keep that in mind." she replied sarcastically. "Just try to lay off the alcohol whilst we're here. You're already working on losing your dignity try not to lose your nomination right along with it."

"I think you should shut up whilst you're ahead." Robert warned her. "The very last thing I need right now is a scandal."

"You seem to be a little paranoid tonight, darling." she told him. "Perhaps you should have a drink to take the edge off."

"I think that's an excellent idea, luv." he agreed as he motioned for a waiter with a silver platter of champagne flutes to come his way. "If you're going to count my drinks you may as well do it from the beginning."

Robert lifted two flutes of champagne from the waiters tray. "Thank you." he said to the young man and then turned to face his wife, holding out a glass for her to take. "Here you are, luv." he told her. "What's the matter?" he asked when he noticed that she was a bit reluctant to take the flute from his hand. "I didn't poison it."

Holly took the champagne from his hand. "That's because you didn't have time."

"I could never kill you, my love." he said a bit dramatically. "I couldn't be governor if I did."

"Thank you." she replied. "For once again using me to further your political career." she said and then took a long sip of her champagne. "I really feel appreciated."

"You should." he agreed as he polished off the rest of his drink. Robert took Holly's half empty glass from her hand and then motioned for a waiter to come and take them away. He couldn't help but feel a little bad. She shouldn't ever think that she was just furthering his political career because it simply wasn't true.

He turned and faced his wife. "You are the most radiant woman in the entire room." he said as he placed his hands on her sides and then slowly slid them down until he came to the curve of her hip. "You're gorgeous and sophisticated and sexy." he said as he looked into her deep, dark eyes. "So incredibly sexy." Robert said as his hands moved from her hips to her back, pulling her closer to him.

And before she knew it she was in his arms. Not that she minded. She loved the feel of his hands against her body and it was the first time that he actually touched her that way in weeks. With love and tenderness and need. Holly felt as though she was drowning in his piercing blue eyes, as though she was surrendering to him.

Robert cupped her face with his hands and leaned in to kiss her. His lips brushed against hers ever so delicately and as he was about to pull away he felt her lips part slightly under his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her awe-inspiring lips opened even further. She pulled his bottom lip into her mouth and then swept her tongue into his warm, champagne flavored, mouth engaging him in a slow, sensual, impassioned kiss that seemed to go on forever.

When their lips finally parted Robert continued to hold her tightly against him. He always did love the feel of her in his arms. He inhaled deeply her sweet scent. It intoxicated him, making him dizzy with desire. After several long moments he pulled out of their embrace, catching her hand as it slid down his arm and grasping it tightly in his. "Come with me."

Robert guided Holly throughout the crowded room, his hand placed securely on her back and when they got to a side entrance he gently nudged her in the right direction. Once they were out of the crowded ballroom and in the empty hallway he took her hand and then lead her down the hall and into an empty office closing the door behind them.

The office was dimly lit and within moments Holly found herself being pushed backward until she couldn't take another step. Robert's mouth was covering hers, his tongue stroking against hers as he lifted her up off the floor and onto the desk. His lips slid from hers down to her neck, his tongue teasing the delicate flesh in its wake as his hands pushed the white silk up her thighs.

Holly struggled to breathe, the small room getting warmer and warmer by the second. His mouth made its way back up to hers, their tongues caressing and intertwining as Robert's hands continued to push the silk out of the way, exposing porcelain thighs and then finally her waist. His hands gripped her hips and he shifted her position so that she was aligned perfectly with the edge of the desk.

His mouth left hers once again, dropping kisses on her neck and the tops of her exposed breasts, her silk covered stomach and then down further until she felt his breath against her thighs. Holly ached up against him as his mouth covered her. And in minutes she was crying out in sweet ecstacy.

Robert's mouth covered hers once again, kissing her sweetly. Holly drew him closer to her wrapping her arms around his neck as she deepened their kiss. Her right hand slid from his neck down his chest until she finally reached the waistband of his pants. His hand immediately caught hers. "No!" he said, moving her hand away.

"Robert." she said as she tried to pull her hand from his grasp. "I want you."

"Holly, no!" he said, interrupting her. "I don't have a condom."

"But, Robert." she complained. "At least let me..."

"You know the rules, Holly." he reminded her. "No condom, no sex."

Robert and Holly reentered the ballroom without anyone knowing that they had ever left. They socialized with the elite members of the community and prominent members of the political world. They had glass after glass of champagne and then moved to the bar where they had glass after glass of liquor until the night came to an end sometime between midnight and one am when they found themselves stumbling through the front door of their mansion.

When they reached the bedroom Robert was half undressed and immediately headed for the bed, collapsing against the cool satin comforter. Holly took off her dress, leaving it in the middle of the floor and grabbed her nightie. She slipped it on before getting into bed next to him. It had been one hell of a long evening. One that they were both glad to have behind them.

Holly was wide awake, but Robert was seemingly quite and she assumed asleep. She turned over onto her side to face him. "Robert?" she said softly as she ran her fingertips lazily up and down his chest. "You're not going to sleep are you?"

"I thought about it." he answered.

"I don't want you to go to sleep."

"Why's that, luv?" he asked, never attempting to open his eyes.

"Because I don't." she said as her lips grazed the side of his neck. "I thought since you were so generous earlier this evening that..."

"I'm not in the mood, Holly."

"I can help with that." she replied.

Holly's hand slipped down his chest and then even farther down to his abdomen until she came to the waistband of his pants. She placed sultry, open mouth kisses against his neck as her fingers skillfully undid the button on his trousers and then the zipper. As she started to slid her hand down inside his hand caught hers, halting her.

"Don't!" he said, although there wasn't much conviction behind his words.

Holly ignored him and pulled her hand from his grasp. She pressed a few more kisses to the side of his neck but when she didn't get the response she wanted from him her hand once again moved down to his still open pants.

"Holly, stop!" he admonished as he pushed her away from him and sat up in bed. "I don't want you touching me" he said as he propped himself up against the headboard and reached for the book on his night stand.

"I want you."

"You're just drunk and horny." he replied. "Take care of it yourself."

"What?!" she asked outraged. "I am not drunk and I want to make love with my husband."

"No." Robert told her as he focused his attention back on his book. "I want to read this."

Holly was quiet for several long moments, but it didn't last very long. She grabbed the book out of his hands and flung it across the room.

"Hey!" he yelled. "I was reading that!"

She slid her leg over his waist so that she was straddling him. "I don't care about your goddamn book." she told him. "I have something else in mind." she said as she leaned in to kiss him.

Robert seemed to fight her on the kiss for several long seconds but then he started to give in, he wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer to him as he fought for control of their kiss. Holly moved her hand down in between them snaking her hand down inside his trousers until she was touching his undeniable arousal.

Holly moved her mouth down to his neck, nipping at the tender flesh with her teeth and then soothing it with her tongue as her hand stroked him. Robert gripped her hips tighter as she continued to arouse him even further. He wanted her to touch him more than anything. He wanted to feel her against him. As she moved her body closer to him, more than ready to make love to him, something inside him snapped.

"Get off of me you lush!"

She was now more determined more than ever to get exactly what she wanted. Before she wanted to make love to her husband but now it was becoming more of a game. Holly hated rejection. Especially rejection from Robert and for the past month that was all she seemed to receive from him. Robert on the other hand was relieved that she seemed too stunned by his action to attempt to try again.

"You can't resist me." she said as she went to move back overtop of him. "You can't."

"Dammit, Holly!" he yelled, sick of her persistence. "No."

She straddled him once again, her hands making their way down his body. "Yes."

Robert grabbed her roughly by the arms and flipped her over onto her back and then proceeded to climb overtop of her. He pushed his knee between her thighs forcing them open. "Is this what you wanted?" he asked as slid his body between her thighs. "Is this what you wanted, Holly?"

Trapped beneath him and feeling a loss of control Holly felt her temper starting to slip. Her little game wasn't fun any longer. Not when he had the upper hand. "Dammit, Robert!" she yelled. "Get off of me!"

Robert awoke to a pounding headache, his head felt as though it was going to spin right off of his shoulders. He couldn't remember ever being so hung over in his entire life. Every part of his body ached. He glanced over at Holly who seemed to be sleeping peacefully and then decided to make his way up out of bed and into the shower.

_His tongue delved into her open mouth, twisting and tangling together with hers in a move to silence her, to sate her. His hands tugged at the delicate lace of her nightie, ripping the strap away to expose her breasts. _

He entered the bathroom in a fog, never bothering to turn on the lights knowing they would be far too bright for him to handle. He turned on the shower for the water to heat up and waited for several long moments before stepping inside. The moment he stepped underneath the beating, hot water he screamed out in pain. And it wasn't because of the temperature.

_Holly's nails raked up and down his back bringing blood to the surface as he thrust roughly into her, her hips meeting his deliciously in the middle._

"What the fuck?!" Robert screamed as he jumped out of the shower. His back felt as though it was on fire. He quickly made his way over to the mirror to discover the source of his pain. There were red, open scratch marks covering his back and scattered out over his chest. There were also bruises on his forearms shaped like fingerprints. And what terrified him the most is that he wasn't sure what had happened between them.

_Robert hovered above her, securing his weight in the palms of his hands as he gave her a few hard, vigorous thrusts. Holly's hands gripped his forearms tightly as she arched her hips against him. There was nothing between them but rage_.

The moment Holly heard Robert scream she was wide awake. Her head was spinning from what she suspected was heavy drinking from the night before. Make that heavier drinking than usual. She threw back the blankets and slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position with every intention of getting up to check on Robert.

_Robert gripped her wrists tightly in his hand and placed them up above her head to prevent her from scratching him. The more she tried to pull out of his grasp the tighter he made his grip. Holly cried out in pain and then in pleasure as his body moved against hers._

She pushed the blankets away and rose unsteadily to her feet. As she headed for the bathroom she passed the full length mirror. Something immediately caught her eye in the harsh morning light. There were bruises on the insides of her thighs as well as her wrists, her porcelain skin black and blue and purple. And if that wasn't horrifying enough she found what appeared to be dried blood on her chest and abdomen.

_The scratch marks that she had branded on his chest burnt like fire. Little drops of blood dripped out of the open wounds and down onto her bare breasts._

As Holly began to study her reflection in the mirror, she realized she wasn't completely sure of what happened last night. And it terrified her. She struggled to regain some semblance of control and walked over to pick up her robe up off the chaise in front of the bed. Once she had the robe on and tied she started for the bathroom. It was then that she noticed her lace nightie on the floor in front of her and reached down to pick it up only to find it ripped. And suddenly she dissolved into tears, sinking down onto the floor next to the bed.

Robert exited the bathroom a few minutes later in his robe to find Holly on the floor, clinging to the duvet as she cried. His first reaction was to comfort her, but as he knelt down next to her something else caught his eye. He reached down and picked up the unopened condom. "Dammit!" he swore.

tbc...


	12. Chapter 12

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 12

Pairing: Robert & Holly Scorpio

Rating: PG-13

_You're wrapped up in your circles_

_I'm tangled in emotions_

_We've come so far together_

_But baby where we're going _

_Is scaring me so bad_

_Cause I love you so much_

_Not the way it is_

_The way it was._

Robert exited the bathroom a few minutes later in his robe to find Holly on the floor, clinging to the duvet as she cried. His first reaction was to comfort her, but as he knelt down next to her something else caught his eye. He reached down and picked up the unopened condom. "Dammit!" he swore.

Holly's crying ceased. She looked up at him, eye makeup smudged and streaked, to find nothing but anger in his bright blue eyes. "What is it?" she asked, softly. "What have I done that you disapprove of this time?"

"Well, Holly." he sighed, defeated. "You just may have gotten your wish." he said as he tossed the condom onto the night stand. "But that's why you did it, isn't it? Seduced me so that you could purposely get pregnant."

"Is that what you think?" she asked, something dark flashing in her eyes. "You think last night was a trap?" she asked as she struggle to get to her feet. "You think I purposely tricked you into getting me pregnant?"

"You said you wanted a baby." he reminded her as he rose to his feet. "Are you saying now that after you finally have a real possibility of being pregnant that you don't want a baby?"

"I want...I wanted a baby." she replied honestly.

"So you admit it?" he asked. "You tricked me into this?"

"I did no such thing!" she yelled.

"I don't know why you think a baby is going to solve anything." he muttered. "And besides how is a baby suppose to live and grow in that toxic wasteland you call a body? How is a child suppose to be nourished by pills and alcohol?

"Damn you!" she screamed at him. "I told you that I would give up everything if we were to have a baby. I'd give up all the pills and the alcohol and do everything right to make sure that my baby was strong and healthy."

"Well, you've got one thing right." he told her. "You are going to give up everything, the pills, the alcohol, everything until we find out rather last night resulted in a baby."

"You think this is what I wanted?" she asked, disgusted. "You think I would go to these lengths to trick you into having a baby?"

"I think you're capable of anything, Holly."

Holly untied her silk robe and let it fall open. "I'm not exactly sure what happened last night." she said as she revealed bruises and scratches and bite marks. "But whatever the hell it was I hope never happens again." she admitted as tears filled her eyes. "Last night had nothing to do with love, Robert. And the very last thing I want is for a child to be conceived out of this mess."

Robert was completely silent as his eyes slid over his wife's body, taking in the various wounds that he had unknowingly inflicted upon her the previous evening. Tears sprung forward in his eyes. He wanted to say something, anything but he couldn't. He just stood there in deafening silence.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked as she tied her robe shut. "I wanted a baby, but not like this. Never like this. I hope and pray to God that I'm not pregnant because no child should be created out of these circumstances."

"Things got out of hand last night." he admitted.

"Out of hand?" she asked. "I'm covered in bruises and I'd bet my life that you're covered in scratches. Things just didn't get out of hand, Robert, things went incredibly too far."

"I'm sorry." he breathed out as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so, so sorry." he said, unshed tears sparkling in his eyes. "I never meant to hurt you. I would never willing or knowingly hurt you Holly, you have to believe that."

"I've heard those words before." she told him. "I'm not doubting your sincerity. I'm just not sure I want to believe them anymore."

"What are you trying to say?" he asked, terrified of what she was going to reveal. "Please just tell me."

"I can't do this anymore." she said, wiping away her tears. "I'm all out of promises and forgiveness and tears. I'm sorry, Robert, I'm so sorry." she said, sadly. "I think it's over."

Robert could only nod in agreement. He had never felt so defeated in his entire life. It was in that very moment that he realized that his marriage to Holly was indeed over."So that's it, huh?" he sighed. "Twenty three years of marriage over just like that?"

"I think its been over for a long time."

"So what now, Holly?" Robert asked, completely numb. "What happens now?"

"I don't know." she admitted, honestly. "All I know is that the only thing we're good at anymore is hurting each other and I can't do this anymore. I won't. If we don't walk away now we're only going to end up destroying each other until there's nothing left."

"We've been through so much." he said. "But I think you're right, the longer we hold on the more it's going to hurt to let go. And we've already hurt each other so much."

"I don't want our marriage to be over." she confessed. "But we both know that it is and the only thing we can do is admit it, pick up the pieces and get on with our lives. I know that it's easier said than done, but if we don't then we're going to be hurting more than just ourselves. And I want this to be as painless as possible for both of us."

"Just say the words, Holly." he said, softly. "I need you to ask me that way I know that this is real, that our marriage is really over."

She raised her eyes to meet his, beautiful, radiant, mesmerizing blue eyes. What was left of her heart silently shattered into tiny little pieces. "I want a divorce."

He struggled to breathe he felt as though his heart had exploded. "I'll call Alexis Davis and she can start the proceedings." he told her. "There's no need to drag this out." he said as he headed for the door.

"Robert, wait." she said, halting him.

He didn't bother turning around to face her, he couldn't bear to see the disappointment in his eyes. "Yes?"

"I can't leave you like this." Holly told him. "You've just received the democratic nomination for Governor of New York." she pointed out. "And you have a really good chance at winning."

"You think I give a damn about being Governor right now?" he asked as he turned around to face her. "It's the last thing on my mind."

"Robert, I know how much this means to you." she said. "You've come so far in politics and you have the nomination you can't give up now. There's nothing I want more than to see you sworn into office."

"It doesn't matter." he confessed. "If you're not standing by my side none of this matters, Holly."

"That's not true." she told him. "I want you to be happy, Robert and I know that being Governor will make you happy."

"I don't know." he sighed. "It all seems a little insignificant in the scheme of things."

"You're going to be Governor." she said, with such certainty and dedication that he was sure that noone would doubt it."And I'm going to support you every step of the way. Brunches and lunches and dinner parties. Charity Gala's and fundraisers and campaign trails. I'll shake hands and cut ribbons and kiss fat little babies. I believe in you Robert. I know that you can do this."

"So you're going to be there every step of the way?" he asked. "You're going to stand by my side?"

"Yes."

"Why?" he asked.

"I love you, Robert." she replied softly. "I just can't be with you anymore and that doesn't have anything to do with being in love with you because I am. I always have been and I always will be. But we bring out the worst in each other and I can't keep hurting myself like this. I can't keep hurting you."

Robert moved closer to her and reached for her hand."Love shouldn't hurt in any form." he said as he pressed a kissed to the palm of her hand. "And especially not when we're making love."

"This isn't just about last night."

"I know." he replied as he let go of her hand. "It was last night and everything that led up to it. Whatever this is between us has gone on long enough. And as much I want to let go I don't know if I can. I know that holding on is selfish, but maybe I'm selfish."

"You're kind and considerate and loving." she interrupted. "And I'm going to continue to be your devoted wife right up until you're sworn in as Governor."

"And after that?"

"Then we'll...we'll." she stopped and took a breath, trying to build up courage. "We'll divorce."

Robert nodded in understand. "So what's it going to be like around here until January?" he asked. "Filled with tension? Are things suppose to be left unsaid?"

"I'm going to move into one of the guest rooms." she announced. "We'll keep up appearances until January."

"What about the Andrew and William?" he asked. "Are we going to keep this from our sons as well?"

"We'll tell them when the time is right."

"Damn!" he swore. "This is too hard!" he said as moved closer to her, pulling her into his arms. "I don't want to lose you. I can't."

Holly relaxed in his embrace, resting her head against his chest. She could hear the beating of his heart echoing softly in her ears. "You once told me that you loved me enough to let me go." she told him. "Do you remember that, Robert?"

"Yes." he answered softly.

"I need you to let me go." she whispered.

Robert slowly released her from his grasp, tears sparkling in his eyes. "I love you." he whispered. "That's the only thing that hasn't changed in this entire mess."

"I know." Holly replied. "It's just not enough anymore."

She turned and walked away from him, leaving him in the midst of tears and heartbreak because she knew that if she stood there for one more second that she would never be able to let go. And letting go was something they both desperately needed to do. They couldn't survive another night of pain and anger.

"Holly." he called out softly.

She paused in the doorway, never once looking back. "Yes?"

"What if you're pregnant?" he asked. "What happens then?"

"That's the easiest, most uncomplicated question in this entire mess." she replied. "We do what's best for the child."

"This is my fault." he confessed. "I should have agreed to having another baby. Maybe if I did we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Maybe." she replied. "But life can't be built on what ifs and maybes."

tbc...


	13. Chapter 13

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 13

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

_And even if I change my mind  
Don't let me hurt me one more time  
Stay away from me be as cold as you can be_

November 7th 2006, Election Day

Robert X. Scorpio was seated in his office at campaign head quarters, overlooking the view of Port Charles. The election's outcome would change his political career forever. He would either be elected as Governor and move into the Governor's Mansion or he would remain in his own home as mayor of Port Charles. Either way the election went he knew that one thing was for certain. He would be alone.

As much as he wanted to be Governor, he would give it all up if Holly would come back to him. He would beg, plead and grovel on his knees if he thought that it would work.. He would crawl across hot coals and broken glass on his hands and knees. He'd leave the political office for good and take her far, far away from Port Charles, from New York, from the States. But it wouldn't work because what they broke couldn't be fixed with a few heartfelt words and apologies. What they broke didn't seem to be very fixable at all.

There was one point where he thought they had a chance, a real chance. Holly had completely stopped drinking and taking her medication in fear, or in hope, that she might be pregnant, but the test was negative and what little chance he thought they had was smashed.

And now things remained the same way they had been in the beginning of their marriage. Him in one bedroom, her in the next. Awkward glances and conversations. And living in absolute fear of actually touching. To the public they were the happy, devoted, loving couple they had always been but at home they weren't even friends.

His days were filled with campaigning, Holly right by his side. And his nights were spent utterly alone in a cold bed whilst Holly was two doors down in one of the guest rooms. He knew that they could never get back what they had, but he so desperately wanted a part of them back that he was willing to do whatever it took. But the only thing that she wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

He glanced over at the liquor lined up across the bar in his spacious office. A few months ago he would have drank the bar dry, but now it didn't interest him in the slightest. Ever since the night of the Ball held in his honor he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol. The permanent image of Holly standing before him peppered with battle scars from the previous night was burnt so deeply into his brain that all the alcohol in the entire world wouldn't erase it.

Sobriety was a beautiful thing. He could concentrate better. He felt better. He looked better. He was more confident. Everything was a thousand times better than it had been when he was drinking. The only thing missing from his sober lifestyle was Holly. Something he knew he was going to have to learn to live with.

There was a soft knock on his office door, jarring him out of his thoughts. Holly opened the door and walked in, closing it softly behind her. "Can I get you something?" she asked. "Coffee?"

He picked the mug up off his desk. "I have some, thanks."

"Okay." she replied as she reached for the doorknob.

"Holly?" he called out. "Don't go."

She turned back around and looked at him. "Okay." she agreed. "I'll stay." she said as she walked over to the sofa and had a seat. "It's almost seven."

"It's almost over." he confirmed.

"It's just beginning." she corrected him. "After you're elected everything's going to change."

"I meant our marriage."

"Oh." she sighed.

And nothing else was said. They both just sat there in silence as the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into what felt like a lifetime. They both had so much to say, but they couldn't. So they just sat there in silence, clinging to what little togetherness they had left.

Holly was clean and sober and she had been ever since the morning she woke up to Robert screaming from the bathroom as the water hit his battle wounds of the previous night. She never wanted to experience something so violent and unloving again in her entire life. That was the day she moved out of the master bedroom and into one of the guest rooms. That was the day that she broke down in Celia's arms.

_Robert had left for the office and Holly was an absolute mess. She had never been so terrified in her entire life. Her marriage to Robert was over. Over. Such a definite, defining word. She watched Robert leave from the window in the guest room and the moment his car left the driveway she called Celia._

_Celia rushed directly over to the Scorpio's, not even stopping at the stop signs. She let herself into the house and went directly upstairs. She was met in the hallway by Holly who looked so broken and devastated. _

"_I came right away." Celia told her. "What's the matter, darling?"_

_Holly didn't respond. She couldn't. She simply stumbled into Celia's arms and began to cry. They both sunk down to the floor together, Celia holding tightly to Holly as she broke down in her arms. And they stayed right there in the middle of the floor for hours as Holly told Celia the whole sorted story._

"_Oh, Holly." Celia said softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_I couldn't." she replied. "I was afraid to admit that there was something wrong and with the election coming up..."_

"_Fuck the election." she interjected. "The election doesn't matter. The only thing that matters right now is how you feel."_

"_I feel like I've failed." she confessed. "I never in a million years imagined that it would come to this. What went wrong Celia?" she asked as the tears streamed down her face. "How did this happen?"_

_Celia pressed a kiss to the top of Holly's head. "I don't know." she breathed out. "I don't know, darling, but you don't have to do this alone anymore. I just wish you would have told me sooner."_

"_I was scared."_

"_I'm here now and we're going to get through this together." she assured her. "One step at a time."_

_Celia did her very best to dry Holly's tears and then together they took the first steps to ensure her sobriety. They gathered all the alcohol in the house and poured it down the drain. Then they flushed all the pills down the toilet. Holly disposed of every secret stash she had in the lavish estate and by the time every last temptation was gone she felt relief rush through her veins. It was finally over. Over. Such a definite, defining word._

At seven o'clock there was a soft knock on the office door. The polls had been closed and in a few short hours they would find out who was going to be the next Governor of the state of New York. The next several hours would be intense and suspenseful and then in mere moments it would all be over. The assistant delivered the message and then closed the door behind him, leaving the Scorpio's all alone.

"Are you ready for this?" Robert asked her. "We're about to be bombarded by the press whether we win or lose."

"Robert." she said as she got up off the sofa and walked toward him. "You're going to be Governor of New York, I know you are."

He reached for her hand, grasping it loosely in his, his fingertips dancing across her soft skin. "I love you." he whispered as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand. "Thank you for standing by me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"You've always deserved my support." she told him. "You're the father of my children and the love of my life and I would stand by you no matter what, rather we're together or not."

"Thank you." he whispered. "I don't deserve you." he told her. "I never did."

Robert got up from his chair, still holding on to her hand and prepared to face the campaign workers as well as his fellow citizens of Port Charles. He had waited for this day for so long, but now that he was actually living it he wasn't so sure it was his dream anymore. His dream included Holly by his side, loving him, honoring him, supporting him and he knew that even if he lost the election that devotion would never truly leave him. But Holly on the other hand was going to. She was going to walk out that door and never come back. And that was the greatest loss of all.

It was early morning, the entire Scorpio staff was gathered around waiting for the official winner to be announced. Robert's heart was pounding so hard that he thought it was going to fly right out of his chest. His throat was dry. And he was more nervous than he had ever been. If he lost the election then he ruined his marriage for absolutely nothing. All those long hours and all that campaigning would be for nothing.

Holly on the other hand was calm and so relaxed. She had confidence in Robert. He was a good man, a good politician and she knew that he could win. She knew that he would make an incredible governor. After everything they had been through she still had the upmost faith in him, she believed in him like no one else, she just hoped that he knew it.

_**New York Governor Elect Robert Scorpio**_

The entire office erupted with cheers. Congratulation were shouted and corks were popped off the top of champagne bottles. The were hugs and handshakes and high fives. Robert was Governor and that was cause for major celebration.

Robert, who was all smiles, turned to face Holly. "We did it." he said. "I'm Governor."

Holly smiled, a tad bittersweet. "You did it." she clarified. "I told you were going to be Governor." she said as she leaned up to kiss him, her lips brushing against his ever so softly.

The moment her lips had touched his everything went silent for him. It was as if the entire world had just melted away. His hand moved up to her face as he drew her back to him for another kiss. Holly was in his arms and he didn't give a damn about political status. She was the only thing that mattered.

Andrew and William made their way across the crowded room and over to their parents. And together as a family, perhaps the last time as a family, they celebrated. Everything was exactly the way it was suppose to be.

It was almost five in the morning when Robert and Holly made it home. Robert couldn't seem to get the kisses they had shared out of his mind, but he didn't want to say anything. After what had happened the last time they were together he was afraid to even touch her with the thought of making love to her in his head. But even he knew that the most innocent touches between them sparked just as much passion as the intimate ones.

And together like so many times before they climbed those stairs, but once they got to the top he went in one direction and she went in another. Just like they did when they were first married, the only difference now was that they both knew what they were missing out on. A love so deep and so heartfelt that not even divorce would cut their ties.

Holly changed for bed and then started to climb inside, but something stopped her. She let go of the blankets and turned and walked out of the room. When she entered their bedroom Robert was buttoning up his pajama shirt.

"Robert." she said softly as she entered the room.

He turned around to find her standing in the doorway, the soft lamp light framing her face perfectly. He watched as she started to walk toward him. "What's the matter, luv?" he asked, brushing a few stray locked of hair away from her face. "Are you alright?"

"No." she answered. "I'm not alright."

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm tired."

"Then you should get some sleep."

"No." she replied. "I'm tired of sleeping alone. I'm tired of pretending that this entire mess isn't killing me."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked. "What do you need?"

"I need you, Robert" she confessed. "I need you to touch me."

He gingerly caressed her face. "I am touching you."

"I know." she replied. "And I don't want you to stop."

Her hands reached for his pajama shirt, her fingers skimming over the fabric until she found the buttons. Just as she undid the first one, she felt his hands on hers, halting her actions. "Holly." he said softly. "I don't think this is a good idea." he confessed. "I don't want to hurt you."

Holly looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. "You're hurting me right now more than you ever did that night." she told him. "I want to be wanted and desired. I want to make love with my husband."

"I want you." he assured her. "I always want you. I'm just so scared of hurting you, I'm so scared of messing up." he confessed. "I haven't touched a drop of liquor since that night, but I'm still scared."

She slipped her hand out of his grasp and brought it up to caress his face. "Robert Scorpio, I love you." she whispered. "Please don't push me away, not tonight."

His hand covered hers and he moved it to pressed a kiss to the center of her palm. "I love you." he whispered back. "I love you, Holly."

Holly's lips met his ever so softly. They kissed slowly, gingerly, delicately. That was what they had wanted all along. They wanted the tenderness and the simplicity back in their marriage. They wanted to love without explanations of their actions. They wanted to tear down all the roadblocks and all the walls that they themselves had built up.

"Please don't leave me." he said softly. "I don't want you to leave me."

"I don't want to leave you." she confessed. "But I have to. I have to go away for a little. There's a rehabilitation facility called the Causeway Retreat, it's on a little island not far from London. It's private and discreet, no one will know I'm there. They can give me the help that I know that I need."

"Okay." he replied. "If this is what you want to do then I'll support you every step of the way. I want you to get the help you need, I want you happy and healthy."

"I'm leaving tomorrow after the press conference." she told him. "I want to be back in time for Christmas."

"I want you to concentrate on remaining happy and healthy." he said, softly. "It doesn't matter how long it takes, just as long as you're okay."

"When I come back we're going to work through this mess we've created." Holly said, tears glistening in her eyes. "But right now I don't want to think about the future. I just want us to be together right now."

tbc...


	14. Chapter 14

Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 14

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

JFK International Airport

Robert stood by the window watching as Holly's plane came down the runway. He couldn't remember ever being so nervous in his entire life. The past six weeks without her had given him time to think, to really think, long and hard about the decisions that they both made that put them in their current position. Looking back he could see absolutely everything that went wrong. The red flags, the subtle cries for help, the next morning's regret. But then again hindsight was always twenty, twenty. The only thing he could do was learn from his mistakes and try his best not to make them again.

As the passengers exited the plane, Robert stood waiting his eyes searching the crowd for Holly. And then from across the airport he saw her. His wife. His Holly. She looked so refreshed and so happy and healthy. So incredibly beautiful. His heart began to race and he felt, and dismissed ,what he was sure were butterflies in his stomach. The closer they got to one another, the harder it became for him to breathe. He wanted her in his arms and the sooner the better.

The very moment Holly laid eyes on him the need to get to him became even stronger. She rushed through the crowds of people who were talking and fighting and reuniting in the middle of the airport because the only thing she wanted was to be with him. She had missed him so much. So unbelievably much.

Holly flew into Robert's awaiting arms and held on for dear life. It was exactly where she always wanted to be. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, lifting her up off the ground and spinning her around. It was a cheesy, romance movie exchange but it they didn't care because they were finally together and that was the only thing in the world that mattered.

And then he kissed her. He kissed her like no other woman had ever been kissed in the history of the world. So full of love and passion and romance and desire that Holly felt weak in the knees. It was exactly the way it was suppose to be. It was the way it should have always been before they themselves screwed it up.

"I've missed you so much." she whispered softly when they finally broke apart for air. "I never want to leave you ever, ever again."

Robert wiped away a fallen tear from her face. "I've missed you, too." he whispered back. "The past six weeks have been absolute hell without you. I promise that I'll never push you away ever again. I don't even want to let you out of my site."

He handed her the single long stemmed red rose he had been holding in his hand.

"Thank you." she said. "It's beautiful."

"Not nearly as beautiful as you are." he replied. "And there are eleven more waiting at home."

Well, then." she breathed out. "I guess you should take me home."

When Robert and Holly entered their bedroom there was already a roaring fire lit in the fireplace, it gave the entire room a soft, warm glow. The lightly fallen snow could be seen through the french doors. The eleven remaining roses were in a vase on the dresser and next to it was a bottle of sparkling cider and two champagne flutes. He wanted to make her homecoming perfect, a small step in making up for everything he did wrong in the past.

"You thought of everything." she said with a smile.

"I wanted everything to be perfect." he confessed. "I wanted it to be special."

"It is perfect and special." she replied. "Did you arrange to have it snow too?"

"I did." he smiled. "But I had to debate with mother nature."

Holly laughed softly. It was the first time he had heard her laugh in what seemed like forever. And at that very moment tears sprung forward in his eyes. He realized how very close he came to losing her and her sweet laugh forever. She moved closer to him, catching his salty tears with the tip of her tongue.

"No more crying, darling." she said, softly. "I think we've had more than enough tears."

He brought his hand up to her face, gently caressing her with the back of his knuckles. "Things are going to be different." he promised her. "We're going to do this right. That is if you'll still have me."

"Always." she whispered.

His lips captured hers in the most delicate kiss. "I love you." he said, softly. "After everything that's happened between us I've never stopped loving you and I never will."

"I know." she replied. "And I never stopped loving you either. I couldn't, not even when I thought it would make things easier. You're the only man I've ever truly loved with my whole heart and the only man I ever want to love like that."

"We're going to get it right this time, Holly." he promised. "I'm going to give you the best of me everyday for the rest of our lives and I'm never going to take you or our love for granted ever again. I came so close to losing you, I came so close to losing myself ,that now I know what lost is and its something that I don't ever want to experience again."

"This entire mess has only made us stronger." she pointed out. "We've been to hell and back and its only made me realize just how strong our love really is. That's why I couldn't walk away from you even when things were really bad. I couldn't let go then and I won't let go now. Right here with you is where I belong. It's where I want to be."

He brushed a few stray locks of hair out of her face, his fingertips dancing lightly across her face. "I love you." he whispered. "I wanted to make this evening perfect for you and I thought that a roaring fire and flowers and snowfall would do it, but now I realize that we don't need props, not when we have each other. I just want you to tell me what you need right now, just tell me what you want me to do."

"Hold me." she said, softly. "I just want you to hold me."

Robert wrapped his arms tightly around her, inhaling her sweet scent. "I missed this so much." he told her. "I thought I had lost you forever."

"No chance." she replied. "You're stuck with me."

He leaned down and softly kissed her lips. "Good." he smiled. "There's noone else on earth I'd rather be stuck with."

Holly snuggled closer to him. "You were right all along, darling." she sighed. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Rehab taught me a lot. It helped me through so many issues and I know now that it was something that I had to do on my own. It had to be my decision to go and my decision to stay just like it has to be my decision to stay clean and sober. I know its not going to be easy, but I know that I can do this."

"I have every bit of faith in you in the entire world." he replied. "You're strong and confident and brace and you're a fighter and if anyone can do this it's you. After you left for Causeway, I was left alone with the very real possibility of you coming back to end our marriage and I knew that if we had a chance in hell at getting things right that I had to do something about my own problem. Celia found me a great, discreet, outpatient facility and the counselors there have really helped."

"I think that's wonderful, Robert." she said as she pulled back to look him in the eye. "I'm glad that you found the help that you needed."

"So am I." he replied. "I have a private therapist now and he suggested that you and I enter marriage counseling so we can work through some of our past issues in a controlled environment. I told him I'd have to talk to you about it first."

"I don't think it would hurt." Holly said. "We went through hell this past year and if there's someone out there that can help us make sense of all this then I think we should. After all we're suppose to learn from our mistakes."

"So you're okay with this?" he asked. "You don't mind?"

"Not at all." she replied. "I was actually going to suggest the same thing. We've both come so far in our recovery to completely give up all help now wouldn't be a very wise decision."

"We did it, Holly." he said. "We survived this entire mess. Now that we understand how we ended up here we have to try our very best not to do it again."

"We did survive." she agreed. "Although I must admit that there were moments when I didn't think we were going to make it, I hoped that we would but I wasn't sure."

"The important thing is that we made it through." he pointed out. "I know that things aren't going to be the way they were in the past because we can't go back, we can't erase everything that happened in the last year, but I still love you more than anything in the entire world and that kind of love never dies."

"Things won't be the same." she agreed. "We're different people, we've been through so much its only natural that we've changed. I think we're a lot stronger now and even though the innocent part of our love is gone I think we've moved on to something more passionate and I don't think that's a bad thing. But I think we should pick this conversation up a little later." she said as her fingers went for the buttons on his shirt. "Because I don't think I can stand being in this bedroom one more second without making love to you."

"I'm not about to stop you." he said with a smile. "Besides you don't think I set all this up for nothing do you?"

"You're such a romantic." she teased.

"Nah." he said, laughing. "I just wanted to get you into bed."

Holly laughed softly. "I love you." she said. "And I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, luv, more than you'll ever know." he replied. "I love you, Holly and I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."

"The rest of you're life?" she asked with a smile. "That's some sacrifice."

"A sweet sacrifice."

The End!


End file.
